Oh!

Oh SNAP!!!!
I did NOT see that one coming. I was all, "undercover cop?" "recovering alkie Kirsten secretly met in rehab?" "Rival pimp?" But... dayum! What kinda shit is this dude gonna fuck up? Why is he bankrolled by the Bullet?

Plus... coolest new couple: Taylor and Ryan, JCN(C)R(B?) and Hercules, or MiniCoop and her new dad, Bullet? Plus, I'm pissed at Jimmy now. He's supposed to be the good guy. And what's the over/under on Seth and Summer now? I say....6 episodes until the engagement ends. And I'll take the under. But him packing the lamp? Awesome.

Laters, 0-six; Welcome to the 0-sept, bitches! (That woulda worked better last year)

3 dudes with beards

WHICH DUDE HAS THE AWESOMEST BEARD???

sacred shrooms (hippie rant)

Great. Now we'll have legions of blissed-out hippies not only going on about hemp and medical marijuana, but now about the "mystical" experience of mushrooms. "Dude, we put 'em on a pizza last week. I saw God, and now I think I know how to solve the Middle East crisis. It's science, maaaaaan." Thanks, Johns Hopkins.

a blog post for the rest of us

Here's everything you ever wanted to know about Festivus, but were afraid to... I just lost my train of thought.

just forget you ever saw it

A glowering gang of Eastern Europeans identified as clowns from a "Baltic circus" show up at a Southern hamburger cookout. Characters burn holes in silk slips with cigarettes and peer through them into another dimension. A homeless Asian girl delivers a spaced-out monologue about her best friend's pet monkey while someone bleeds to death next to her in the street. A roomful of hookers do a line dance to "The Locomotion." And in an ongoing subplot—perhaps better described as a recurring set of images—a family of rabbits, played by actors in brown bunny suits, sit stiffly in a room, waiting for something or someone that never arrives.

That's right! It's a new David Lynch movie!

step one...cut a hole in a box

If you didn't see J-Tim bust out this new soul masterpiece on SNL, watch it here. Now.
Despite being on SNL, it's actually funny.

JIMMAY!

I suppose that all things considered, I'm ok with gimmicky holiday episodes. Even ones with glaring internal logical inconsistencies. For instance, how could girl Taylor confront her own mother if she wasn't born, or was born as a boy? And if Ryan wasn't born either, how did he get that letter from Marissa? AND! Would Marissa really have OD'd in TJ if she wasn't so busted up about Luke cheating on her because she never hooked up with Luke in the FIRST place because she only DID it with him to get back at RYAN for kissing that one girl!??!?!

But ANYWAY... I was so pissed at Ryan at the beginning for being so jerkish to Taylor, who, honestly, couldn't be any cuter or cooler. Although the gift she got him was way lame. But his arm around her as she sat on the hospital bed with him at the end made it all better.

In other news... JIMMY!

When the e-mail comes to town, it's like a rainstorm...

...in your browser.

an inconvealent truth ... BANG!

A United Nations report has identified the world's rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. ...
Livestock are responsible for 18 per cent of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming, more than cars, planes and all other forms of transport put together. *

There's so much ridiculousness about this whole global warming thing, I can't even keep up. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, or that a one degree increase over the next hundred years won't doom us all to a fiery (or is it watery... I forget) death, or that it may even be a good thing if it melts Antarctica and extinctifies all the penguins so we won't have to see any more movies about dancing fucking penguins, but maybe we should get a handle on what exactly causes it before we're all forced to drive cars that run on Crisco and bacon grease.

Just sayin.


UPDATE: Celebrities agree: FUCK GLOBAL WARMING

hot lesbo action

I gotta agree that this is so obviously not a news story that the real news story is that it's a story at all. By which I mean the real news here is that this story is somehow news.

But I disagree with the "easily duped" bit. What, exactly, is the reporter trying to "dupe" people into believing? No, I think it's more like a ridiculous game of "gotcha!" that some people like to play. Except, as the post points out, the game makes no sense. I wish this 2004 "values voters" meme would die. It's just wrong, and it's spiteful and divisive to boot.

the gang's all here

Aaaaaand everything's sexy in Newport again.
I told you all that Summer didn't tell Seth about getting kicked out last week. Well, ok, she didn't really know, but still. And now S&S will be together, a new (and improved) Gang of Four (if you'll pardon the appropriation).
But what was the dizz with MiniCoop's party? Uh, so the cops came, but she's not getting in trouble? What about the beer? Why didn't the cops find Ryan and Taylor in the closet? Did you pick up on the TOTALLY SUBTLE part about the gay dude actually being in the closet? BANG!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Don't miss the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight on CBS! It's a Christmas special that men can actually enjoy.