Shit yeah

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

did I miss it?

Hey, did you guys see this? Apparently, the last ever 4 episodes of "Arrested Development" aired like a week ago last Friday, opposite the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Can anyone verify this? If they actually aired then, and I missed them... man, I'll be pissed.

Fox fucked up the way they handled this show so badly... This show could've been bigger than "Seinfeld." Morons.

just to shut up her holler

Cripes. After all the bullshit and all the hoopla, this. So, what was the uproar really about? Was it really about civil liberties? Was it really about the most secretive administration since Nixon's? Don't mug yourself:

Mr. Roberts said "an agreement in principle" had been reached with the administration whereby lawmakers would be given more information on the surveillance operation run by the National Security Agency.

Ah. So it's about blowhard senators getting information, and not having their feelings hurt. What a load of shit this whole thing has been. Like Jay-Z say, sometimes you "gotta toss a coupla dollars, just to shut up her holla." I knew G-Dub was down with the Jiggaman.

See, the real issue here was always that the Senate felt like the Administrative branch was accumulating too much power. We learned in PoliSci that there is a constant ebb and flow of power between the executive and the legislature, and the Bush presidents have been particularly effective in accumlating executive power. Clinton benefitted from this, as will future presidents. The Senate realizes that they've really given this power away, and that their votes are coming back to haunt them. (Right, John Kerry?) So they pitch a huge fit about something to draw attention to themselves, and it runs for a few news cycles, then everyone realizes how idiotic the whole discussion really is. Remember when there was an alleged groundswell of support for the Murtha Exit Strategy (aka immediate withdrawl from Iraq)? And everyone obsessed about it for a week or so? And then the Senate actually voted on it, and nobody wanted to do it? Yeah, same thing here. Same thing with the Patriot Act (96-3, hippies. 96-3).

Don't get swept up in all the hot air rushing out of the Capitol these days. It's just more folks taking unfair swipes at Bush, like they do to J.J.

(That last link is from this HOT-ASS blog called.... wait for it.... ONLY DRINK HIGH LIFE. Shit. There really is a blog for everything.)

George Clooney drinks like a girl

Speaking of pranks, you worked with our governor on Batman & Robin. Did you pull any practical jokes on him? Yeah, I pulled a few good ones and one really great one. Arnold told me he could drink me under the table. I was like, “You’re out of your mind. I’m Irish.” He was like, “You don’t know about Austrians.”

He had this bar called Schatzi. He wanted to drink peach schnapps. It’s clear and the worst-tasting thing you’ve ever tried. I did the first shot at a table with, like, 15 other people. James Caan was there, Tom Arnold—it was a weird group of people. He was busy talking to somebody, and I went over to one of the waitresses who was bringing us the shots and I said, “Here’s $500 if you bring me shots of water and him shots of schnapps.” So every five minutes I’d be standing there with another shot glass in my hand, putting my arm around him, saying, “C’mon, old man, let’s go.” And I’m not kidding when I tell you he had 15 shots of schnapps and I had 15 shots of water. Maria had to carry him out. And to this day, when I run into him he’s like, “He can really drink. That Irishman’s got a hollow leg.”*

What is this shit? (belated)

Ok, since I'm apparently in a bloggin' mood for the first time in internet eons, I might as well fulfill my obligations to comment on the newest additions to the BlogRadio. So, in alphabetical order by height:

• Crowded House- Fall At Your Feet. I put this one up, as you know, after last week's "OC" episode where a cover of this song figured prominently. A bit cute, perhaps, that nobody's favorite new character, Johnny, was literally falling off a sort-of cliff (towards Marissa's feet) at the time, but hey, better this than another goddamned Death Cab song.
  
• Girls Aloud- Biology. Between this song and "Push the Button," you're going to get a hefty dose of mainstream pop music. Don't judge too quickly on these tracks, my indie friends. Despite all those that wanna hate on it, Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" got much love from the critics this year, proving that pop can still be taken seriously, when done right. I love how this song has about three different parts; beginning with a riff that wouldn't sound out of place on a White Stripes album, sliding efforlessly into a slick techno-pop banger, and then kicking into the highest of gears for the outrageous chorus. Plus, the chicks are hot.
  
• Wilson Pickett- Don't Let the Green Grass Fool You. An overlooked gem from the late soul master. A bit poppy, yes, but no less expressive for it.
  
• Beck- Hell Yes. If funk music had been invented by Japanese people instead of by African-Americans, this is what the 70s would have sounded like. So much cool shit in this song... bodacious video, fax machine anthems, robot voices... my favorite Beck song since "Deborah." Hai!
  
• Belle & Sebastian- Another Sunny Day. First single from their rad new album. Unfortch, the low-fi BlogRadio doesn't do justice to the beautiful production here. I've always dug on the arrangements in some of the best B&S songs, like "The Boy With the Arab Strap" and "There's Too Much Love," but they've just taken it to a whole nother level here. Like "Legal Man" crossed with "If You're Feeling Sinister." Best.
  
• Sugababes- Push the Button. Less stylistically diverse than "Biology," but better sung, and a bit more saucy. Just try to get this out of your head, too. Bouncy, fun... a great dance track... for the ladies. Oh, plus... well, you know.
  

Plant contest weiner

hahaha..."weiner."
Yes, hippies, we have a winner. The plant will henceforth be known as.... Boner! Congrats to 3000 for the awesome suggestion.

Just so you jerks know that my mind isn't in the gutter...er, always... the official story is that the plant is named after Boner Stabone, Mike Seaver's bff on "Growing Pains." Interesting trivia, Boner's real-life dad is Chekov from the original "Star Trek" series. No foolin.

WTF of the week

Ok, so this article begins with a puzzling, tantalizing headline:

42-year-old taken to Neenah hospital following incident

So, there apparently was an "incident."

A Wittenberg man was taken to a Neenah hospital Thursday after charging into a pair of vehicles in western Shawano County.

A woman from Birnamwood told investigators she saw the naked man walking on Wittenberg/Birnamwood Townline Road at 9:36 a.m. Thursday.

When she moved to the left to go around the 42-year-old man, he charged at her car, hitting the right fender and breaking the windshield and side mirror, according to the Shawano County Sheriff's Department.

Clare Dodge of Wittenberg was following the other car when the man got up off the road and got into a "football-type stance" before charging at her vehicle.

"He ran into my car. He ran into it," she said. "It was terrifying, it really was. It scared the hell out of me."

Amazing. Just awesome. Dude actually gets into a football stance, and straight-up tackles this lady's car. Oh, did I mention that this happened in Wisconsin? And that the dude was naked at the time? WTF of the week!

word cloud

Via Truck.
Glad to see all the curse words made it in there.

Love on the rocks (with no ice)

Man! That was depressing! Seth and Summer on the rocks, Marissa and Ryan on the rocks... Johnny... oops. Sorry. Too soon? I liked the musical selection, though (a cover of Crowded House's "Fall At Your Feet"). And did they honestly end that episode by saying that the episode featured music by a band called Rock Kills Kid?!??! That seems in poor taste. Also, caught the cover of Camper Van Beethoven's "Wasted" during Seth's doobie blazing scene.

Anyway. Is Johnny dead? Did Julie Cooper-Nichol share her "hot pocket" with Dr. Roberts? (Who, by the wizz, is also a prominent cast member of the Veronica Mars-preceeding "South Beach.") Will the sudden tragedy that has befallen The OC interrupt Valentine's Day festivities?!?!? Tune in next week to find out! In the meantime, enjoy the original "Fall At Your Feet" in the BlogRadio. Rock on!*


*Again, too soon?

Fuck everything. We're going five blades.

As of today.

(*)



Also, I knew something else bothered me about this.

Colbert: "Open wide, baby bird, because poppa's got a fat nightcrawler of truth for you."

Onion: "Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler."

Coincidence?

The future runs on booze

For those of us who wondered what the hizzel President Bush was talking about in the SOTU address the other night when he was spittin' about switchgrass and whatnot, here's a very informative article detailing why ethanol/methanol may be answer to America's oil problem. It also tells why hybrid and hydrogen power ideas are stupid.

Name my plant

My old friends Joy and Steve have recently departed for colder climes. Maybe the dirty South was a bit too dirty, or maybe Steve really did get that job at the UW-Madison library system, but they've up and gone from NC. Since they couldn't transport a number of their personal effects, we affected an interesting trade. I gave them a remote control for the PS2 that didn't work with my machine, and they gave me some very nice plants and some nonperishable foodstuffs, for which I am most grateful.
Anyway, for whatever reason I decided to name the plants. I'm hoping that this personal touch will make them less inclined to die. I've got names for 2 of the 3, but I need your help naming the 3rd. This one is called Andre:And this one is called Stavros Niarchos III:

So I need your help naming this one:

Best suggestion posted in the comments wins a free tall boy of Miller High Life. For reals, y'all. Get to it.