a little too ironic

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.

Or $600 artfully beat-up jeans, as it were. How (dare we say it?!?!?) ironic that Gen X-ers have grown up to perfect the pathetic Boomer nostalgia they allegedly rage against. I can't fucking wait for these guys' kids, whom they treat like a fucking iPod, as if they were cultural accessories to fill up with their taste, get to be teenagers. These parents think they won't rebel. Hah. But what if they do?

Or perhaps we can look forward—at least if Family Ties can be trusted—to a new generation of buttoned-down, high-strung Alex P. Keaton–type conservative teenagers. This is something the Grups have considered. When I asked Hermelin her worst fear, she laughed and said, “Our kids are going to become Republicans.”

But, wait...

“The worst nightmare for a quote-unquote alternadad,’ ” he says, “is that [the child] grow up to be something he doesn’t want to be.”

What if the kid grew up wanting to Republican!?!? We'd have to invent an entirely new level of irony. It could be the irony to end all irony! Or at least we can hope it will.