Friday, December 30, 2005

Greetings

Dear family and friends,

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Also, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

|

Sumpin' for da Truck

This is Friday night at Firetruck's house.

Cos of the tacos.

|

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Xmas cash back

Did you know that if the price on something you buy drops, within 30 days of your purchase date, Amazon.com will credit you the difference if you ask for it? It’s a not-advertised price drop policy that most people don’t know about and it’s saved me tons of money over the last few years.

Read the whole thing. I'm going to collect 10% of all the money they credit you, btw.

|

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Merry X-mas, hippies

Take a few days off of work, go home, take some nekkid pitchers of yer girlfriend, and try to avoid the near-death experience of the particular variety of flu I've been fighting for like the past 2 weeks. Cos echinacea don't work! WHAT, HIPPIES!!! WHAT!!!

|

Monday, December 19, 2005

Hey

Bethlehem Steel and I are now officially dating. Get over it, effing hippies.

|

Media bias proved with science

Science proves that the mainstream media is a bunch of hippies. The UCLA study compared media news reports, excepting op-eds, to speeches by members of Congress, thereby comparing the reports against a known and measurable political commodity.
Of the 20 major media outlets studied, 18 scored left of center, with CBS' "Evening News," The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times ranking second, third and fourth most liberal behind the news pages of The Wall Street Journal. ...

The fourth most centrist outlet was "Special Report With Brit Hume" on Fox News, which often is cited by liberals as an egregious example of a right-wing outlet. While this news program proved to be right of center, the study found ABC's "World News Tonight" and NBC's "Nightly News" to be left of center. All three outlets were approximately equidistant from the center, the report found.

"If viewers spent an equal amount of time watching Fox's 'Special Report' as ABC's 'World News' and NBC's 'Nightly News,' then they would receive a nearly perfectly balanced version of the news," said Milyo, an associate professor of economics and public affairs at the University of Missouri at Columbia.

I've always thought that the people who blast Fox News as being "Republican" or the "conservative" news channel completely miss the point. It was never about being the Republican news channel. It was always about making sure that at least equal time and respect was given to conservative view points, which is not always the case on other channels. People were so unused to seeing conservatives given equal voice on TV, I think, that once conservatives got that air time and respect, it was so different as to be shocking and upsetting. the left-leaning outlets became the new "center," and when people saw more (but what is actually equal) weight being given to conservative viewpoints, they shouted "bias!"

I also think it's lame when people make the supposedly counter-intuitive claim that the mainstream news is actually conservative, and merely reflective of the supposed bias of its' big-business owners. They make the grand assumptions that 1.) media owners are politically conservative, an assumption for which I have seen no data (which stands in stark opposition to repeated political surveys of mainstream news reporters, who consistently vote Democrat), and 2.) the media owners have a.) the time, b.) the inclination, and c.) the organizational ability to influence news converage.

I think it also reveals ignorance of the corporate structure and operations of private media companies. One of the first things they taught me in J-school was about "The Wall" between the business and editorial sides of any news gathering operation. Open any magazine or newspaper, and take note of how the executives for each side are presented seperately. Additionally, a growing trend inside the media business is towards consolidation of the business sides of ostensible editorial competitors. For example, in Madison a few years ago, the two local newspapers consolidated their business operations. The (liberal) Capital Times and the (conservative) Wisconsin State Journal even went as far as to print their papers in the same facilities.

Unfortch, I don't think this study will change much about the way media report the news. I think many will attack the methodology, and I think even more will use the results to support the theory that the liberal bias is "institutional," and has little to do with individual reporters' or editors' biases. There may be some truth to that, and I'll be interested to see how liberal blogs react to this study. But I think it's time to stop arguing that liberal media bias doesn't exist.

|

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

hork-blogging

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a while since I rapped at ya, but I been busier than a... well, busier than a very busy person. Oh, yeah. And sick. I'm sick, too. Which sucks ass.
"But, Matt," you might be saying, "how fucking hard could it possibly be to cut and paste some stupid crap you read about how George W. Bush invented Grape Nuts or whatever Karl Rove is emailing this week, and add some pithy comments or some pictures of hot chicks in bikinis?"
And to that I reply that copying and pasting is tough work. I totally had carpal last year, brosnan, so get off my jack. And if you want hot chicks in bikinis, well, then you can just eff right...well, actually, I can do that for you.
Dig that dude in the background drinking a High Life (probably) and just takin' it all in. Nice. This has got to be taken in Florida. Anyway.
What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Posting.
So, I came across this on P-dork this morning, and it might spark some debate, comments stizz.
Turns out the cool kids aren't watching "The O.C." or "Gilmore Girls" anymore. They're watching "Veronica Mars", a TV show on UPN about a teenage detective. This teenage detective happens to frequent a karaoke bar where rock stars show up and sing covers of classic rock songs. A couple months ago, Courtney Taylor-Taylor of the Dandy Warhols (who are responsible for the show's theme song, "We Used to Be Friends") crooned Nazareth's "Love Hurts", and coming February 1, Britt Daniel of Spoon will perform Elvis Costello's (you guessed it) "Veronica".

Ok, first off, "Love Hurts" was written by Gram Parsons, schmobvs. The stupid, metal version of "Love Hurts" we've all heard is a terrible, terrible cover of what's really a heartbreaking country song. And secondively, "Veronica" was written by Elvis Costello and Paul McCartney. Sheesh. Anywizz, the rest of the story seems to be about right. Cool kids do watch "Veronica Mars," and if you don't, then you're not cool. It's by far the best show on TV. And shut the eff up about your "Deadwood" or "Entourage" or whatever, cos swearing doesn't automatically make a show good. And what's up with "Gilmore Girls" being all re-runs lately? Weak.
I gotta go hork up a loogie.

|

Thursday, December 08, 2005

the system worked

This is so lame. I'll bet anyone a beer that this guy is some sort of bedwetting hippie. We already know he was on the phone when this happened, so we know he's one of those people: the ones that can't shut their effing phone off until they close the plane door, and then are the first to turn it back on in order to pass along the earth-shattering revelation that, "WE'VE LANDED. YEAH. NO, I'M STILL ON THE PLANE. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE BAGGAGE CLAIM."

Look, you hippie dickweed, just because somebody doesn't say the word "bomb" doesn't mean they don't actually have one. Did Mohammed Atta say the word "boxcutter" at any point? Doubtful. The guy shouldn't have got shot because he was wearing a fanny pack? Pull your head out of your ass. The guy was running up and down the plane, acting like some sort of lunatic. It's tragic that we find out later that he was just off his meds, but the air marshals did exactly as they should have done, and exactly what they were trained to do. The system worked.

|

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Spike Jonez breakz ztuff

Have you seen this yet?
I'm actually not too crazy about the music for either spot, but how great is it when those two fling a table of shirts and it goes just flying, Walken-esque, through the air? Or the dirt bike? Or when that dude launches himself at that mannequin? Brills. Again.

|

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Audition

In HDTV
Victoria's Secret show
just ridonculous

|

Monday, December 05, 2005

We ain't here to cause you trouble

"All the years I've played against them, I think defensively this is as well as I've seen them play," said a banged-up Favre, who had swelling in his wrist and a cut on his hand after hitting it on the helmet of a Bears' defensive linemen while delivering a third-quarter pass.


"They're just good."


Damn straight, Brett Favre. And once the Eagles beat Seattle tonight (you gotta believe), I want y'all to start practicing saying the words "the first-place Chicago Bears."
Actually, this Bears team reminds me of the 2003 team, where their defense and special teams play, and a ton of weirdo lucky breaks, got them to the playoffs. There has been a pathetic lack of offense for the Bears for many, many years.
Chicago's Kyle Orton was 6-of-17 for 68 yards, while Thomas Jones ran for 93 yards and passed 1,000 for the first time in his career. The Bears didn't convert a third-down in the game (0-for-10) and Muhsin Muhammad had no catches for the first time since 2002, a span of 51 overall games and 47 in the regular season.

Which, I mean, wow. Less than 100 yards passing, less than 100 yards for the leading rusher, and not a single third-down conversion! How does this happen?

|

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Shit.

We're boned.

|

Friday, December 02, 2005

Ahead of the curve?

Besides, everybody knows that the indie kids don't watch "The O.C." anymore. They watch "Gilmore Girls". Now there's a show that needs a box set.*

Smallcabbage, holla!

|

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Hey, Angry Hippie

The fuck did your blog go?

|

califreakingfornia

I'm sorry, y'all, but I really, really like Taylor Townsend. She's smart, ambitious, can be kind (if a little overeager), and looks goddamned hot in an argyle sweater. Plus, there's something about Season 3 Marissa that just hasn't been there before. And HotMom in that cardiobar outfit? Yes please. This show is so hot. Except for Chilli's eyebrows, which continue to creep me out.

|

affected and pretentious

I e-mailed this to a friend of mine a while back, always meaning to turn it into a blog post. This will probably have an extremely narrow audience, but that’s obviously never stopped me before.

I’ve been listening to both Beck’s “Guero” and Iron & Wine/Calexico’s “In the Reins.” Strange as it may sound, I think the two can reasonable be directly compared and contrasted.
I think it’s reasonable to assume, judging by both Beck and Beam’s recorded outputs, that they write and compose songs on an acoustic guitar. I tend to think of Beck as a songwriter more than any sort of genre-hopping, sound-colliding, robot-boy. And Beam, despite his affectations, is still a 4-track bedroom artist at heart.
Where I think the difference can be drawn is the relative effectiveness in which each incorporates other sounds. It seems that Beck makes more of an effort to compose using non-acoustic elements, and at least attempts to “write” a song using such elements as record scratches, samples, and laser noises. I would argue that this is very effective, because you can totally hear how these sounds still can carry a song, complete with sounds that even function as chord progressions. This is why I think “Hell Yes” is the best song on “Guero,” by far. Dig the echo that trails the beeps, as if the beep was recorded in a studio. That’s fucking bitchin.
Iron & Wine’s songs, on the other hand, seem affected by the added instrumentation. For nearly every song he’s put on record since the first album and EP, I can still hear the hushed, acoustic roots of each song through the layers of banjo, percussion, piano, and other piled-on instrumentation. Because the roots are so visible (audible, I guess), it makes it tough to buy into the full-band thing he seems to be wanting to do more of lately. It seems really affected and pretentious (in the literal sense), and as such, it kind of annoys me that he wants to hide his songs behind all this extraneous sound. I think all the extra instrumentation masks the emotional impact his songs carry. Can you imagine “Bird Stealing Bread” or “Over the Mountain” with like 6 extra instruments on top of it? They wouldn’t mean a thing.
I should probably state for the record that I do think that the two carry wildly different goals in terms of the way they approach instrumentation and arrangements for their songs. My point is that coming from such similar acoustic backgrounds, Beck is much more effective in integrating these new approaches to fundamentally simple songs.
Anyway.
No, wait, not “anyway” yet. I have more to say about music. Specifically, The New Pornographers. I’ve had lengthy conversations with Annie about this band, and why I’m giving up on them. I’ll grant that I’ve devoted far too much mental effort to thinking about this question, which may fairly have been redirected to something more productive, like how to get myself out of debt, or actually finishing a single book about European history, both of which have eluded me thus far. But I think the fact that they’re so blatantly a pop band, combined with their status in the indie world, is why it bothers me that I can’t seem to like them. They’re a band that I feel should be right up my proverbial alley. And it should be fairly obvs that I have no problem whatsoevs with “indie-pop.” However. First, I think they’re wildly, wildly overrated. I think they’ve been over-hyped by the burgeoning indie hype machine, which starts with MP3 blogs and P-dork, and moves on into Spin and Magnet and other indie-er local free ‘zines. They’re a decent indie-pop band, with an outstanding occasional lead-vocalist (Neko), and a handful of otherwise horrible singers. And I do think that aside from Neko, the NPs are really terrible singers. I think “The Bleeding Heart Show” is a good example. Newman starts out singing the typically angular vocal melody, and the rest of the group chimes in at the end for the “hey-la” section, tripping and stumbling over each other, as nobody seems capable of holding a note in tune. Neko, though, blows them all away, and elevates the song to a whole nother level. It’s notable, though, that no NP songs, from their entire catalogue, can reach such a high unless Neko is vocally present. The lack of a strong vocalist on every track prevents the songs from becoming more than mediocre indie pop. The hooks that Newman puts so much effort into just don’t come through.
The second thing that bothers me is the presence of Bejar. That guy’s songs are just awful. They’re annoying diversions from what would otherwise be fairly cohesive (if weak) albums. I’d compare them to the tracks that other band members wrote on Wilco’s “A.M.,” or even to “Little Darling” on Summerteeth, or to those songs on the Songs:Ohia record where some random comes in to sing about chickens, and then Cat Power’s cousin or whoeverthefuck chimes in with some bullshit. That “Jackie” song from the first record sounds like someone holding their nose while coughing. It’s a horrid song. And I frankly don’t see what’s so special about his alleged production genius. In fact, I’d call their tracks underproduced, in that the songs could benefit so much from some guidance from a strong producer that whatever it is that Bejar does only serves to distract from the songs. What I’ve heard of Destroyer is more of the same, if you axe me. Undercooked melodies that can’t stay in one place long enough to make any impact.
Which is probably the main problem I have with the NPs. They’re lauded for their supposed pop sensibilities, but seem to spend so much effort on indie-fying their songs that they lose the impact that pop can have. Compare a band like Olivia Tremor Control, which is similarly jam-packed with ideas, but much more effectively presented. It’s like a poorly-imitated Aaron Sorkin show, all patter and no substance. The NPs’ songs are all left turns, but for a left-turn to have any impact, you have to go straight for a while. And they never straighten a song out. Further, what makes “Electric Version” such a terrible album is that it’s all left turns, and all the melodies are so annoying to begin with. Compound that with vocalists that can’t carry even those short snippets of tune, and you got yourself a disaster stew going. At least “Mass Romantic” and “Twin Cinema” have melodies that don’t grate, however furtively the band commits to them.
To be clear, I think that some of the songs could be actually good, given better vocalists to carry them along. In that respect, the remind me of the Grateful Dead, a band whose songwriting is sometimes underrated, as they are obscured by piss-poor singing. A great pop band needs a strong vocalist to bring the melodies to the forefront.

|