goram geek fulfillment

Dan Drezner got to see a preview of Serenity, the movie about the tv show "Firefly" I've been geeking out about lately. It sounds great.

football, especially

Don't get me wrong. I mean, forget Notre Dame, but this is still a really neat story. Charlie Weiss seems like a really nice guy.

Didja spot the Christmukkah pic in her bag?

I really missed the acoutic campfire "California" jam this week. They should use it every week.

So, Ryan and Marissa have finally done the deed. The dirty. The hibbity-dibbity. Was anyone else thinking, "Is Marissa knocked up now, too?" She's gonna be a whole nuther category of messed up when she finds out that she was hittin' skins with her forbidden lover while her dad was getting his face kicked in. Dayum, Jimmy. That musta hurt. Plus, I mean, shit, he can tell Marissa to tell Julie that he loves her, but can't say the same thing to Marissa??? I used to be a big Jimmy supporter, but---Oh god...That didn't come out right at all. I used to be a big Jimmy partisan, let's say, but now, he's made it real tough to not be like, "Well, brosef, you had it coming." Plus, how supersweet is it gonne be when Seth finds out that Taylor "TT" Townsend and Dean Hess are also doing the horizontal hula? Which, I mean, what's the over/under on how many more episodes till that happens? I say 4. Any takers?

THE HOFF!!!

OMG...I can barely stop laughing long enough to post this..

Ice-T to produce Hasselhoff rap album
Ice-T is to produce David Hasselhoff's first hip-hop album.
The pair are neighbours in Los Angeles and are said to have struck up a close friendship.
Hasselhoff has had some success as a singer, releasing seven albums. He's also said to be very popular in Germany.
Ice-T, who was one of the first real hip-hop stars in the late 1980s, said: "The man is a legend. And we are going to show a whole new side of him."
The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun.
Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour."

bizbot bingo?

That is an awesome idea. This could be the new iPod war. I have a go-getter meeting tomorrow. My bingo words:

-guru
-overhead
-initiative
-concerns
-SOP
-engage
-strategic plan
-action item

Fuck. I hate these meetings.

UPDATE: So, I can cross out "overhead," "initiative," "concerns," "engage," and "strategic plan." I'd also like to add to the list, "mission statment," "goals," "feedback," "impact," "vision," and "social committee."

Bingo, motherfuckers.

One flu over the cuckoo's nest

The initial outbreak of what could explode into a bird flu pandemic may affect only a few people, but the world will have just weeks to contain the deadly virus before it spreads and kills millions.
Chances of containment are limited because the potentially catastrophic infection may not be detected until it has already spread to several countries, like the SARS virus in 2003. Avian flu vaccines developed in advance will have little impact on the pandemic virus.
It will take scientists four to six months to develop a vaccine that protects against the pandemic virus, by which time thousands could have died. There is little likelihood a vaccine will even reach the country where the pandemic starts. ...
"There are so many uncertainties about the pandemic. We don't know how it will start. We don't know exactly how it is spreading," he said. Oshitani said that the successful containment measures used against SARS, such as quarantining those infected and cross-border checks, would fail against an avian pandemic, as people spreading bird flu may not show early symptoms.

They don't have enough vaccine, either.

Jesse Jackson v. Wal-Mart, round deuce

I saw this on Instapundit today:

I don't think Washington needs any more czars. But if President Bush feels compelled to put someone in charge of rebuilding the Gulf Coast, let me suggest a name: Lee Scott.
Scott is the chief executive of Wal-Mart, one of the few institutions to improve its image here after Katrina sent a 15-foot wave across the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain. If you mention the Red Cross or FEMA to people in Slidell, you hear rants about help that didn't arrive and phone lines that are always busy. If you mention state or national politicians, you hear obscenities.
But if you visit the Wal-Mart and the Sam's Club stores here, you hear shoppers who have been without power for weeks marveling that there are still generators in stock (and priced at $304.04). You hear about the trucks that rolled in right after the hurricane and the stuff the stores gave away: chain saws and boots for rescue workers, sheets and clothes for shelters, water and ice for the public.
"This was the only place we could find water those first days," said Rashan Smith, who was shopping with her three children at Wal-Mart on Saturday. "I still haven't managed to get through to FEMA. It's hard to say, but you get more justice at Wal-Mart."

It's just...I mean, how typical! People rag on Wal-Mart, a lot, for killing communities, preying on local businesses, etc. But who stepped in in the clutch? I wonder who really did more good here: Jesse Jackson, or Wal-Mart? (You should most def read that last link.)

A very special post for Angry Hippie and Firetruck

Now cut it the hell out.

Rant-a-roni, the Research Triangle Park treat

Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a while since I rapped at ya, but I’ve been busier than a monkey at a shit-slingin’ contest.
I’ll be honest with you, hippies: I need to rant a bit. Work today has been a ceaseless parade of idiots. After nearly 3 years at this company, it still boggles my mind how the federal government can entrust so much money to so many morons.
It’s possible that I got a bit too jacked up on coffee this morning, and am thus a bit too on edge to hurdle the day’s…er, hurdles. Lemme just break down some of the highlights for y’all:

☺ Secretary who handles mail merges for me feels my wrath after she prints addresses on letters after I told her, and here I’ll quote myself, “Don’t print addresses on these letters.” She somehow remains employed.
☺ Incompetent programmer still unable, after delivering software nearly a week late, to produce a fully-functioning version. Final version must be ready tomorrow at 6pm. Somehow still employed.
☺ Project supervisor unable to approve a purchase order in a timely manner due to his inability to operate web-based approval system (this man is a Ph.D.). Secretary fails to inform me in a timely manner that the order has yet to be approved. Order will now go unfulfilled.
☺ Staff whose sole function at the company is to set up telephone services unable to comprehend how or why I need a toll-free number established like yesterday.
☺ Officemate (aka Burpee McGee) burps in his mouth all day.
☺ Support staff incomprehensibly unable to send a simple fax.

To mix my metaphors, all this plays out in concert with the normal symphony of incompetence that flogs my brain every day.

So effing cute

I kinda wish I had a kid, just so I could put this on the little bastard.

Fuck everything. We're doing five blades!!!

Honest to dog, y'all.


Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers. It's a whole new way to think about shaving. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edge—the razor's edge—and I feel like dancing. *

Federal Booty Inspector

I was walking or driving or whatever somewhere t'other day, and out of the corner of my eye, I could've sworn I saw some dude jogging wearing a t-shirt that said "Shin Bet." And I thought, that's a pretty cool t-shirt. I mean, the design and the colors sucked, and in googlespect, it probably didn't say "Shin Bet." But how cool would that be? Like, one of those athletic shirts that says "Property of Shin Bet" or something. It'd help if you were Jewish, but whatever, right?

If anybody steals this idea and makes a million dollars, you gotta hook a brotha up. For real.

Best find ever!

Can I just say that this is, like, the best innernerd find I've ever made? Well, not really "made" in that it was heretofore virginal territory that I am deflowering with my link, but more like I found it on my own and not through DataWhat or whatever.

It is here, and it is the (seemingly) complete series of Miller High Life commercials, featuring that deep-voiced guy, talking about living the High Life. I looooove these commericials, and little did I know that Erroll Morris directed all of them! I'm linking to one of my faves, "Hotdog," because it has probably the best script of them all. But my favorite line so far comes from "Champagne," and it go: "Well, if Francois knows so much about champagne, how come he never figured out how to put it in cans?"

The sidebar on the right has all the links. So, hippies, devote the rest of your afternoon to living...the High Life.

Also: Can I just say how fucking weak those Bud Light "Real Men Of Genius" commercials are compared to these? Both embrace the post-"The Man Show", post- Fight Club, anti-Oprahization, pro-Regular Guy, retrosexual aesthetic, I submit. This aesthetic celebrates men and their poor fashion choices, terrible eating habits, and fondness for working with our hands, instead of seeking to turn us into underwear models with manicures who use "product" in our hair. Miller (and Morris) does this with a subtle wink, while Budweiser does it with a bombastic, over-the-top, more obvious campaign. Should a man have to think about his beer commercial? Probably not, but it seems to be more rewarding. Like when a man chooses a Miller High Life.

Hey, there's another goddamn commerical right there.

UPDATE: OMG, so funny: "He knows that the blood that courses through those veins is full of man-juice from Milwaukee." Best.

The O.Z.

Here's a really great e-mail exchange between ESPN.com's Bill Simmons and The O.C. creator Josh Schwartz. Too many bloggable bits, so read the whole thing.
Ok, one:

Simmons: Just so this doesn't come off as one of those interviews where somebody is just kissing your butt to promote your show, I need to bring up three of the biggest mistakes (in my opinion) from the first two seasons: A) the Oliver saga (you've taken enough heat for this); B) Sandy Cohen's near adultery (we already covered this); and C) Seth's Mom developing a drinking problem in about three seconds and shattering the record (held jointly) of Alison Parker and Bailey Salinger for "Fastest drinking problem by a TV character on Fox" (just once I want to see a TV character have a drinking problem with no repercussions whatsoever, but that's a personal thing).

Ok, can I interject here? A) I never really had a problem with the Oliver subplot. The dude was creepy as hell, and I thought the dynamic between Ryan and Marissa and Oliver was really great throughout the whole thing. There needs to be more spoiled rich kids on this show, instead of rich kids with hearts of gold (and this includes Summer's seemingly irreversable and intractable [and similarly unbelievable] transformation into a Decent Person). B) Ok, that was lame. And C) Ok, look. If you go back and watch the first two seasons again with an eye out towards time when Kirsten turns to the booze in times of trouble, you'll notice a definite pattern, and it seems not nearly so random as Simmons says. Schwartz, to his credit, says much the same thing in his reply:

Schwartz: Thanks for your forgiveness -- your tough questions will keep your street cred legit. As for Kirsten's drinking problem, it developed verrrry slooowlly over two seasons. Go back and check it out for the clues.

They're there. Finally, not to ruin the rest of the article, which you should totally read in full, but here's reason number 2 why Season 3 will kick ass, according to J-Schwizz:

2. Sandy and Kirsten back and better than ever. Fully in love. Parenting the %#$@! out of their kids.

Awesome.

Later, hippies. I gotta go to Chicago.

Shotgun Sean

It's not his, he's just holding it for someone.

Cripes on a crutch!

I can't believe I forgot to post about the most momentous moment of our young lives: the season premiere of The O.C.!
Quick shots, because I should be working: Has this show jumped into soap opera territory so fast that I didn't even notice it? I mean, the premieres of the first two seasons were dark, yes. Darker, maybe, than the majority of the rest of the shows of the season. (Think about it, season one, episode one: Ryan steals a car, goes to jail, fights stepdad in front of drunken mom, is borderline homeless. Season two, episode one: Seth has run away, and is surly and abusive towards his parents, Sandy and Hot Mom are barely speaking, etc. etc.) Still, what was missing for me was the levity that the show's sharp writing can bring. This seemed leaden and ponderous. Best: when Ryan nasally imitates Summer, "Why would you do that, Cohen?" Brills. Plus, does anyone else think that Mischa Barton seemed hotter? I don't know. Not once did I think (or say aloud), "Shut up, Marissa."
Still, I'll be wearing my OC button this afternoon, because it still beats the hell out of "Medium," "Law and Order: Petty Larceny Unit," or "CSI: Newark."

New iPod, hippies

That's a tiny iPod!
As a reminder, my birthday is September 28th.

Staying sweet?

Hitchens:

The Constitution is clear on this point: The president doesn't control the purse. An administration cannot spend money that has not been voted. A huge sum of money was voted by Congress, almost unanimously as I recall, for the reconstruction of Iraq. It was felt that we had a national interest in preventing an important state in another Gulf from collapsing into beggary and terror and anarchy. If you want a scandal to investigate, ask yourself why so little of that money has actually yet been spent. But if it had been, or was being, don't delude yourself for one moment that those dollars were stolen from Bourbon Street. By the same or a similar token, don't imagine that if the Kyoto Treaty had been properly signed by Clinton and Gore, which it wasn't because it didn't pass the Senate, or if every chlorofluorocarbon emission had been stopped 20 years ago, that we'd all be happily going to hear jazz at the Preservation Hall. Those who find themselves in the midst of a ruined city may be excused some but not all of their hysteria. Those who blog about it from dry land have no such excuse.

Snap.

NY, NY

It shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone that a New York filmmaker making a film about New York spat out a navel-gazing, status-obsessed film. Have you ever known a New Yorker to talk about anything besides New York, or the rich people they know therein? Of course you haven't.

It got me thinking, though, about how my friends and acquaintances discuss 9/11. It's strange. For a generation known primarily for it's embrace of irony and cynicism (I mean, what other group of people could complain that the new Dukes of Hazzard movie "sold out?" It's incredible.), it continues to amaze me how easily and how seriously we discuss this event. Perhaps because ours is a generation second only to the Baby Boomers in it's legendary self-absorbtion. Honestly, what other generation would be so egomaniacal as to assume that people would care the slightest bit about reading our random rants and musings, on whatever topic crosses our minds, several times a day? Ahem.

Moving on. I can't think of a single person with whom I associate on a regular basis that I don't know where they were on 9/11. It comes up surprisingly often in bar-time conversation, back-yard barbecues, and informal dinner gatherings. Like what I'd imagine the Kennedy assassination is to my parent's generation, it's the "where where you?" question everyone remembers.