Precisely!

Who should go? Joseph Murena and Travis Tucker. Sorry guys. I would say Constantine, but ... What the hell? Constantine deserves to go to? Why? Because he is not Bo!

Bo Bice...the new John Peter Lewis, or even better?!?!?!

The dominoes are tipping

"It's strange for me to say it, but this process of change has started because of the American invasion of Iraq," explains Jumblatt. "I was cynical about Iraq. But when I saw the Iraqi people voting three weeks ago, 8 million of them, it was the start of a new Arab world." Jumblatt says this spark of democratic revolt is spreading. "The Syrian people, the Egyptian people, all say that something is changing. The Berlin Wall has fallen. We can see it."

Wow. It's almost like the Bush administration had a strategy all along...

If a Middle East transformation begins to gather momentum, it probably will be more messy, and the results more ambiguous, than those European revolutions. It also won't be entirely Bush's creation: The tinder for ignition has been gathering around the stagnant and corrupt autocracies of the Middle East for years. Still, less than two years after Saddam Hussein was deposed, the fact is that Arabs are marching for freedom and shouting slogans against tyrants in the streets of Beirut and Cairo -- and regimes that have endured for decades are visibly tottering. Those who claimed that U.S. intervention could never produce such events have reason to reconsider.

Michael Moore could not be reached for comment.

Milwaukee Mimosas all around!

Ashton Kutcher's magical penis? An auspicious beginning, fo sheezee. Welcome to the 'sphere, Rochester.

Talking gorilla: "Show us yer tits"

Their lawsuit said: "Through sign language, as interpreted by Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts."

It went on: "On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples'."

The women, sacked in August last year, say they never followed the requests to undress for Koko.

Huh?!?!?

The iPod backlash has begun

Instapundit got on the trolley yesterday, giving voice to proponents of the Game Boy-ish iRiver. He also links to this d-bag's ill-informed, condescending rant against the iPod, which we shall fisk presently.

In order to put music on your iPod you must use Apple's iTunes software.

Not true. When I first bought my iPod, they didn't have iTunes for Windows yet, so I was forced to use MusicMatch Jukebox. I'm fairly certain you can also use newer versions of Windows Media Player to transfer MP3s.

If you need to put music onto your iPod using a computer that doesn't have iTunes on it (which is 9,999 PC's out of 10,000) well then, tough.

Again, not true. I don't know where he's getting the 9,999 out of 10,000 figure, but even if it's true, iTunes is now available, for free, for both Mac and Windows. Just download it!

Once you get iTunes to let you put music on your iPod, it's there to stay. You can't take it from the iPod and put it on a different computer. You can delete it or you can play it, but that's it.

Once again, not true. I can't speak for Macs here, but using Windows Explorer, you can access the iPod's control system and copy and paste music files just as you would any other file. There's no system built in to either iTunes or the iPod to facilitate this, but it took me about 5 minutes to figure out this "back door" method. For a self-professed geek, this guy sure isn't very geeky.

So if, for example, you owned a computer which you used to encode all of your CD's to MP3 format, and the hard drive on that computer died with all your music still in it, you could not then restore those music files from the copy on your iPod. Why not? Because if Apple permitted you to copy music off of your iPod onto an unfamiliar computer you'd just use it to give all your music to everybody else. You are, in Apple's view, a criminal by default.

You could re-copy your music from yer iPod to yer computer using the method above. Or, since iTunes allows you to burn your music to cd, you could just re-rip it. And I hate to break it to this guy, but the courts have found that copying music outside established fair-use provisions is, in fact, illegal. If he has a problem with existing intellectual property laws, fine. I can respect that, as I have many issues with them myself. But to blame Apple for trying to obey the law or work within the confines of the system so they don't, y'know, get sued and go out of business, is asinine.

By the way, if you wanted to encode your CD's in the quality that an audiophile demands by using the free, open source Ogg Vorbis audio compression software, you're out of luck again because the iPod doesn't support Ogg Vorbis either. Why not? Ogg Vorbis is free, so it isn't because it's too expensive. It's because Ogg Vorbis has no provision for copy control, unlike some variations of MP3 and Apple's own AAC formats. As we all know, you're a criminal so you mustn't be allowed to use formats which allow you unrestricted control over your music. Audiophiles are shafted by the iPod again if trying to listen to their iPod-bound music on a home stereo. The headphone output on the iPod isn't line-level so its quality is poor for that use and, unlike it's competition, the iPod doesn't offer digital output of audio for
truly excellent sound.

God this guy is a moron. Look, Ogg Vorbis is for effing nerds with no friends or hobbies aside from doing stupid internet shit. *Ahem* But anyway, the fact is that MP3 is the standard, always has been. AAC is the next generation MP3, and sounds just fine. Yes, it has allowances in the format for copy protection, but again, this is the law, and not Apple's fault! Most music that is going to go on a portable player like the iPod or iRiver is going to ripped from CDs, which I'm sure this guy would agree have severe sound limitations on their own, and would be transferred to the ripped file regardless of which format one uses. And if you were going to play music through a home stereo, why not just play the CD? Jeez.

Anyway, you get the idea. This guy, aside from not knowing his technical shit, is transferring his dated, faux-hacker, "information should be free" rage to a device that never sought to challenge the paradigm in the first place. He also fails to mention that without the iPod, devices like his precious, toy-like iRiver would most likely never have been produced. The market for portable MP3 players pre-iPod was beholden to low-capacity flash-players, like the new iPod Shuffle. The iPod virtually created a market for high-capacity hard-drive players, as well as the market for downloadable, legal music. Also, it's not ugly.

Finally, some of you might see a dissonance in my simultaneously exploiting the Napster scam and trashing this guy for ragging on copy protection schemes. You might be right. I've not fully sussed out my feelings on the issue. Howevs, let me say in my defense that in this post I merely wish to point out the idiocy of taking offense to Apple's half-hearted embrace of copy protection and DRM in it's current form. The fact is that the laws exist, and complaining about those who follow them won't change that. If the guy is going to do criminal shit and make unlimited copies of his music, embrace it man, call it like it is, at least until they change the law. And, technically, the Napster scam might be legal, as I pointed out below.

More Pitchfork bullshit

Pitchfork further discredits their already tired, one-trick, screedy site with this horrendous excuse for journalism, "The 'Real Story' of Podcasting."
Among its many offenses, the most egregious is perhaps that less than half the article actually discusses podcasting, and apparently the "real story" behind it is that it's done over the internet. How you get through a story about podcasting without mentioning an iPod is beyond me, but maybe Chris Dahlen's journalism degree comes from a better school than mine did. At such a presumably fancy school, one might also assume that they taught him that writing an entire story based on a single source is lazy, and usually considered unacceptable by editors. (It could, I suppose, also be considered an interview, but the story is not presented as such.) Shit, I once covered a city council meeting drunk off my arse and still managed to get three interviews.
But then again, I'm just a blogger, peddling "unproven information." Dahlen must've forgotten to put in the links "proving" that we and/or the White House dismisses objective journalism and facts.
Lame, lame, lame.

A bad day for lovers of shitty music

Korn and Blink-182 took heavily casualties this week, as the former lost a key member, and the latter broke up entirely.

Stereogum collects some hilarious reactions from the Blink-182 message boards. The Korn article is funny enough on it's own.

Southern Culture on the Skids

Beyond Confederate flags coming down from statehouses, more-mundane symbols are increasingly being questioned on the local level: in town halls, college campuses, and even cemetery committees. It's part of a deepening homogenization of Southern culture that's causing anger and resentment among many in a proud region with perhaps 65 million people who consider themselves Southerners.

Some observers see a note of irony in the growing suppression of conservative Southern memorials at a time when old Confederate values like militarism, chivalry, gentility, and religiosity are gaining political prominence. It's a lesson, they say, in how a rebellious American region maintains its influence beneath pressure to rescind its mottoes and murals.

Now, I do not, by any stretch, consider myself a Southerner. But I think there's a deeper irony here. It's true that the South, loosely defined, is seeing a huge influx of Northerners in the last decade or so, and by all accounts will continue to do so. My suspicion is that the author is correct when he says that a lot of the resentment stems from these immigrants (for lack of a better term) and their perceptions, or maybe better said: preconceptions. I would also think that it's these same folks who campaign against cultural homogeneity. In their hubris, they seek to destroy or marginalize a culture that is one of the last easily identifiable regional cultures in America. The folks who never wanted a Wal-Mart in their neighborhood, or who sit on urban planning committees designed to save the "cultural heritage" of the small New England town whence they came are now in the South, seeking to eradicate that which doesn't conform to their Northeastern/Unionist ideals. I don't think it will be long until we hear them wailing about the death of Southern culture, oblivious as to their part in it.

I don't want to get into a discussion about whether "Southern culture" is worth saving, as I suspect that many of you would argue that it's not, and anyway it's beside the point. The point I'm trying to make here is that the dismantiling of a distincly American culture is taking place at the very same time we're hearing elites telling us that the "Wal-Mart-ization" of America is an increasing danger. This is part of a concentrated effort to eradicate anything, anywhere that could possibly give "offense" to someone, even, apparently, at the expense of an entire culture.
Can't have it both ways, hippies.

Do you like bacon? Do you like whores?

Mind you, I'm not entirely sure the two actually have anything to do with each other. Howevs, since this is the future...

Finally, you can have tasty, sizzling bacon, without all the shopping, planning, and preparation. Just schedule your appointment at baconwhores.com, and our trained experts will come and prepare bacon for you, exactly the way you like it.

Can I just say one thing here? "FUCK YES."

J-Tim loves BaconWhores.

So does Mena Suvari, Stiffer, the guy who isn't Stiffler but I always think is Stiffer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (but not Jennifer Aniston....hmmm....).

A sinner for sure

Ridorkulously bad new Fatboy Slim video starring kitties. The song is even worse.


UPDATE: Ok, the bit with the car on blocks in the kitty ghetto is mildly amusing.

Scenes from the Modern Office

Second in an occasional series

Two things you don't want to hear your programmer say on a conference call with the client:

1. "Since your visit, a lot has gone on, but nothing's really happened."
2. "We're clueless here, really."

[SCENE]

Bush tapes reveal....Bush

How lame that this is a 5-page story on the Times' website. Let's examine some of the earth-shaking revelations of these secret tapes...Let's examine the real President Bush, the warmonger, the bigot, the Nazi:

The private Mr. Bush sounds remarkably similar in many ways to the public President Bush. Many of the taped comments foreshadow aspects of his presidency, including his opposition to both anti-gay language and recognizing same-sex marriage, his skepticism about the United Nations, his sense of moral purpose and his focus on cultivating conservative Christian voters.

Remarkable indeed! How revealing! A politician who says what he believes, even when nobody's looking! Let's dig deeper:

When Mr. Wead warned him that "power corrupts," for example, Mr. Bush told
him not to worry: "I have got a great wife. And I read the Bible daily. The Bible is pretty good about keeping your ego in check."

Frightening!

Preparing to meet with influential Christian conservatives, Mr. Bush tested his lines with Mr. Wead. "I'm going to tell them the five turning points in my life," he said. "Accepting Christ. Marrying my wife. Having children. Running for governor. And listening to my mother."

The Times must've misquoted him here. I'm sure he really said "Skipping out on National Guard Service; planning 9/11 with the Saudis; making friends with oil businessmen so that when I run for president, lose, have the Supreme Court appoint me, plan 9/11, link 9/11 in the American people's mind with Iraq, and then invade Iraq, I can get them all rich; and...oh yeah, FUCKIN' HALLIBURTON!!!!!"

Early on, though, Mr. Bush appeared most worried that Christian conservatives would object to his determination not to criticize gay people. "I think he wants me to attack homosexuals," Mr. Bush said after meeting James Robison, a prominent evangelical minister in Texas.

But Mr. Bush said he did not intend to change his position. He said he told Mr. Robison: "Look, James, I got to tell you two things right off the bat. One, I'm not going to kick gays, because I'm a sinner. How can I differentiate sin?"

Later, he read aloud an aide's report from a convention of the Christian Coalition, a conservative political group: "This crowd uses gays as the enemy. It's hard to distinguish between fear of the homosexual political agenda and fear of homosexuality, however."

"This is an issue I have been trying to downplay," Mr. Bush said. "I think it is bad for Republicans to be kicking gays." Told that one conservative supporter was saying Mr. Bush had pledged not to hire gay people, Mr. Bush said sharply: "No, what I said was, I wouldn't fire gays."

This is groundbreaking. Bush, being a Christian Republican, obviously hates gay people. It's interesting that even before he entered the national spotlight, when he was being taped without his knowledge, he's covering up his true feelings. This guy is sneakier than I thought.

Mr. Bush quoted Mr. Quayle as saying, "I'm proud of what I did before 40."
"As if I am not!" Mr. Bush said.

All the booze and coke aside, he should be proud what he did before he was 40.

Napster scam: day deuce

I've downloaded several more albums:

• Hum- Heaven Is Downward
• Damien Rice- O
• Superdrag- Head Trip In Every Key
• Suede- Dog Man Star

And some more, I'm sure. But whatevs. If you're still thinking of trying this little scam, the 'Pod gives it one and a half thumbs up. A few more pros:

• Totally rad browsing system: You can browse by so many genres...I just clicked on Pop, and it listed everything from Brill-Building to Euro-dance to Girl-group (clickin' on Britpop, snatch). There's also a category "Indie Labels," which very handily groups all artists on a given independent label. (What up, Kindercore.)
• Still jackin' shit fer free: I think I'm going to run out of albums I want to download before I run out of time in the free trial offer.

A few more cons:

• Shit is slow: The downloading is actually pretty quick, but the interface is pretty sluggish, and I get lots of "connection timed out" errors. Lame.
  
• Selection: Lots and lots of free albums for downloading, no qualms there. But the breadth and depth of artists leaves something to be desired. And they have an annoying habit (also shared by iTunes) of leaving off a track or two from an album. Not all the time, by any means, but often enough that it got old real fast. They dropped FOUR TRACKS from that William Orbit album.

Also, I've run out of hard disk space more than once during the conversion process. Do one album at a time, and you should be fine. I listened to a few of yesterday's albums on my iPod today, and the sound is fine. No issues.

For JB...Get back on the train, man!!!

Napster scam: day one

So, I started running that Napster scam I told you about the other day. Those of you who clicked through and read the article may have the mistaken impression that it requires three computers to work. Not so, hippies. In just a few hours yesterday, I downloaded and converted 5 albums.

• Talk Talk- Laughing Stock
• Lyle Lovett- Step Inside This House
• Slowdive- Souvlaki
• Teenage Fanclub- Teenage Symphonies To God
• Elbow- Cast of Thousands

Again, this is totally legal. From Reuters:

A spokeswoman for Napster said that such endeavors were nothing new and the company was not too concerned.

"The DRM (digital rights management) is intact. Basically, people are just recordingoff a sound card. This is nothing new and people could do this with any legitimate service if they want to use a sound card," she said.

"This kind of attack has been around for a long time and it's just because of our higher profile that it has sparked such interest," she said.

Click here to read why that's not true, and why the conversion is totally digital, never leaves the software realm, and results in no loss in audio quality.

Finally, there's been some updates to the original link detailing how to download/convert even more music in less time. During the process, I learned a few things that may influence yer decision to participate or not:

1. You gotta give yer credit card number and stuff. Napster is a subscription service, and this scam is taking advantage of their 14 day free trial offer. Just like getting a free magazine, if you don't cancel before the offer expires, they're gonna start charging you every month.
2. The downloading is somewhat restricted. They do have a lot of artists, and a lot of albums available, but it looks like they've restricted downloading on some artists to certain albums. Fer instance, Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" is on the site, but if not offered for free downloading. On the other hand, I snagged that Velvet Crush album for free, while I would've had to pay per song to download it from iTunes.
3. The Winamp setup is a bit complicated. This may be only cos I'm kind of a nerd (*gasp* No! Believe it. Despite the blog, glasses, and lack of a girlfriend...it's true.-ed.), but I thought I could find a way around some of the more time-consuming parts of the process and messed something up. But if you just follow the instructions at the original how-to link, it works very well. And I did find out that once you convert the file to WAV, you can import it to iTunes and convert it to AAC, which is very space-efficient, can be burned to cd, or transferred to your iPod. Glaven!

Further bulletins as events warrant.

More about Podcasting

Some of you have asked about the link to Coverville o'er yonder in the sidebar. Well, see, there's this new thing called "Podcasting." Basically, it's broadcasting to yer iPod or other portable music player. Like TiVo for radio, or an audio blog. Today's New York Times has a front-page article about it.

...a podcast, a kind of recording that, thanks to a technology barely six months old, anyone can make on a computer and then post to a Web site, where it can be downloaded to an iPod or any MP3 player to be played at the listener's leisure. ...

Here's the bit about Coverville:

Brian Ibbott had always loved making mixed tapes and CD's. His podcast, "Coverville," has become one of Podcastalley's most popular, and in many ways it is like a real radio show, without the advertising. Sunday is all-request day, and listeners can call in their requests. Mr. Ibbott, 35, plays back their recorded requests before the songs.

"I don't know that I'm doing it so much as a protest against radio as I am to develop the radio show I always wanted to hear," said Mr. Ibbott, who lives in Colorado. The last great radio station nearby, he said, was bought out by Clear Channel. "And they got the same playlist everyone else did."

I've found something to like about nearly ever show he puts out, and the technology makes it such that it takes virtually no work on my part to keep my iPod updated with new shows. The guy is super-nice, has always emailed me back, and plays my requests when he can.

That said, you don't need an iPod, or really any portable music player to listen to podcasts. They're all in MP3 format, so you can listen to them right at your computer. Check out Podcastalley for lots more shows.

The technology was more or less invented by Adam Curry, the vaguely foreign-looking ex-MTV VJ. Althouse is right that his show, The Daily Source Code, is pretty lame, but don't let that dissuade you from checking out the literally thousands of other shows out there.

I got no patience for motherfuckers who don't watch tv

This gap-toothed bummer at the coffee shop tried to act all "uuuhhhh duh" when I axed him if he was pumped for The OC tonight. He was like, "Oh, I've never heard of it. I don't really watch tv." Ok, first of all? Fuck that. Quit being such a blowhard loser and just watch The OC. Second of all? I know you're an "artist" or whatever, but the only person who has ever said that to me that I've actually believed was my elementary school art teacher. I don't remember her name at the moment, but one time she jacked me in class when I wanted to write a paper about how Michaelangelo (the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) was like Michaelangelo the renaissance painter. But even her 50 year old self knew what a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was, so I don't believe this twentysomething bean-jockey joker when he tells me that he doesn't know what The OC is. Ferreals.

I feel better.

Ok, OC bonus time: Apparently, some band from near my tiny-ass hometown will be featured on The OC tonight. What are they called again? The Sandy Bummers? Oh....Sunday Runners. Never heard of 'em. Sounds like a Jimmy Buffett cover band or something. Whatevs. LGC in the hizzee!

Flying racoons

This may be just for the fellas, but here's a link to a video of a guy beating Super Mario Bros. 3 in 11 minutes. Pretty amazing.

I remember one time when my friend Brian tried to take a polaroid of the screen when Airwolf was on, and it turned out like shit. This guy has obviously got his tv-taping technology down.

The deal with the fucked up-ness of the blog these days

Several of you have pointed out that the site looks a bit tore-up as of late. So I wanted to take a quick second to set you straight. I didn't notice right away cos I use Firefox, and not the laughably inferior Internet Explorer, as my browser. It looks fine in Firefox.
Obvs, the visual appeal of this shite-site is far from sufficient reason, were you a die-hard IE partisan, to go to the trouble of switching. Howevers, and on my honor, it is eminently worth your time to do so. With Firefox...isslike a whole new innernet. For true. If IE is a crusty old Chevrolet Cavalier, Firefox is a spry new VW Golf.
So download Firefox. DO it. DO it.

Nope.

Holy shit

If you want an eff-load of free Napster music, all burned on cd, check this noise out. Wow.

(From Stereogum)

Thank you, Stereogum

Stereogum has a bunch of free, legal MP3s for V-Day. And they're by people you've heard of!
Go get some.

I'm surprised I'm not Seth, too

You scored as Kirsten. You are a perfectionist. Be weary of being too rigid and limiting your openness to varied experiences. Neat freaks are just as irrational as slobs. A half messy person is, in fact, the ideal. Optimal evolution (according to the research) is dependent on a sufficient amount of random variation and being overly regimented inhibits variation. Kirsten 89% Julie 56% Seth 56% Marissa 56% Caleb 50% Hailey 50% Luke 50% Oliver 50% Jimmy 39% Summer 39% Sandy 39% Anna 39% Ryan 6% What OC character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Link props: Lindsey

Randy Jackson drops it like it's hot

This is gonna be a rad post because it allows me to indulge three of my current obsessions:
1.) US Magazine
2.) American Idol
3.) The internerd

US has this American Idol quiz in the latest ish (Jennifer Aniston may be sweatin' Vince Vaughn, btdubs), and one of the questions was something like, "Which of the following bands did Randy Jackson work with?" And I don't remember all of the options, but there was Earth, Wind & Fire, a couple of others and Journey. The answer, I was astonished to discover was...JOURNEY!!!!

Hell yeah. So I busted out their Greatest Hits and looked to see if he was credited at all in the liner notes. Well, I didn't see any, so today I hopped on the 'nerd and, thanks to the magic of Google, discovered the information that American Idol DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW:
(biting only selective bits here)

NAME: Randy "The Emperor" Jackson

The Emporor!?!?! HELLZ YEAH.

CONTRIBUTION TO JOURNEY: Bass

YEARS WITH JOURNEY: 1983 and 1986

ALBUMS WITH JOURNEY: Frontiers, Raised on Radio

MISCELLANEOUS NOTES: Of the four musicians hired to fill the shoes of Ross Valory and Steve Smith during the recording of Raised on Radio and the subsequent tour (1986), only Randy Jackson appeared both on the album itself and live with the band, thus making him the only one who came close to being considered a full-fledged member of the band. He had also previously appeared as an additional bassist on Frontiers (1983). His membership was, of course, temporary; the band cut the tour short due to Steve Perry's exhaustion and went on a hiatus which lasted ten years. During the hiatus, Randy maintained his friendship with Steve Perry, and helped him put together his band for the For the Love of Strange Medecine solo album (1994) and tour (1995). Following the hiatus, Smith and Valory returned to the band for Trial by Fire (1996), thus eliminating the possibility of a return to Journey for Randy Jackson.

I'm sure he's totally busted up about that, too.

Randy's bio from the American Idol Website reads as follows: "Randy Jackson is a twenty-year music industry veteran. For eight years, he was the V.P. of A&R at Columbia Records followed by four years as Senior V.P. of A&R at MCA Records."

"Randy has recorded, toured and performed with the likes of: *NSYNC, Madonna, Elton John, Destiny's Child and many more. "

"Randy has worked on over one thousand gold and multi-platinum albums. With his amazing talent, immense studio knowledge, performing, touring and record company experience, Randy has become one of today's most highly sought-after music industry experts."

So, what? Journey isn't hottt enough to mention here? I beg to differ, DUDES.
Anyway. Here:


We are quite safe here from your pitiful little band, dogg.


UPDATE: Beer and Rap provides an...uh, an alternate perspective.

The Many Moods of Mischa Barton

Awesome.

"You're so beautiful, it's ironic to look at you."

Damn, kids. Kind of a downer. Sandy's moral compass goes awry when a big, shiny object passes through his field; the Chino Kid and Cal seem to be warming, which is totally weak, because Cal's put downs (even when Schwartz rips off the Usual Suspects ["You are a criminal!"]) are best; and The Ironist seems to have missed his last shot, David Noel steez, with the Vixen. (I thought she was called CosmoGirl? -ed. Yeah, what the dealy-o?)
But then...from the right side of the screen....came a man...I mean girl...I MEAN TWO GIRLS!!! Ferreals, kids, Angela Chase, for all her sexy, sexy angst, has got nothing on the supremely disturbed Marissa Cooper. Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against her and Alex's budding relationship. But can anyone doubt that this is nothing more than a desperate cry for attention?!?!? I mean, she'd be screaming, "Ryan! Ryan! Look!" if her tongue wasn't halfway down Alex's throat. Speaking of, kids, I think our guy missed a yuge opportunity by not having Ryan catch a glimpse of that action as he and Seth strolled in the moonlight...together...on Valentine's...DayWAITASECOND....WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THIS SHOW?!??! IS EVERYONE TURNING GAY?!!?!?!

Another media scandal

I wanted to provide an excerpt from Hugh Hewitt's newest piece in the Weekly Standard, but every single paragraph in the whole article is essential. It's short, so do yourself a favor and read the whole thing.

The mainstream media are stuck in outdated models of information collection, information distribution, news analysis, and business. Their refusal to democratize and decentralize their operations is the straw breaking the media's back.

Why should I continue to patronize and trust media sources who not only neglect, but refuse to tell the whole story? I shouldn't, and neither should you. READ MORE BLOGS.

I need a refill on my prescription, please.

Boner pills

As far as the commercials for boner pills go, we should all stand up and salute the Levitra ad, becuase at least it has a hot chick talking kinda dirty. The other commercials all seem to just have wrinkly old people dancing or taking a bath outside or some other stupid shit. But the one thing they all have in common is the ominous warning about the 4-hour boner.

I've seen some articles refer to this as "the warning that's actually a selling point."So, let's talk about this so-called selling point.

Priapism is no laughing matter. In most cases, there is no defined cause, but it can be associated with may systemic diseases, including leukemia, multiple myeloma, tumor infiltration, spinal cord injury or anesthesia, amyloidosis, spider bites, carbon monoxide poisoning, or malaria. There are many medications that can be associated with this, including psychotropic medications, cocaine or marijuana abuse.

So, what to do if you have an erection for more than 4 hours? Some say that conservative measures like walking up the stairs (to promote an arterial steal phenomenon) as well as ice packs to the penis and perineum can help. If not, then its off to the ER.Medications like alpha-blockers, methylene blue, and terbutaline have been used with varying success. If these don't work, then injection therapy should then be considered as well as a urology consult.So, next time you wonder about the "erections lasting longer than 4 hours" mentioned at the end of those erectile dysfunction ads, wonder no more.

(Link boosted from Carnival of the Vanities)

This blog gets RESULTS

PALO ALTO, Calif. (AP) -- Hewlett-Packard Co., a maker of personal computers, printers and servers, said Wednesday that Carly Fiorina has stepped down as chairman and chief executive officer, effective immediately.

``While I regret the board and I have differences about how to execute HP's strategy, I respect their decision,'' said Fiorina in a press release.*

I don't know why she refers to me as "The Board," but whatevs. Really, it wasn't that big of a deal for me. It was just kinda lame that the stuff I needed wasn't on the website. But they made it right. They didn't have to fire her. She's a nice person, I'm sure.

This is a bad-ass program

If you have iTunes (and you should), this program is a handy effing addition. Just select the tracks on any given album in yer iTunes, click the little magnifying glass button in the Importer program, and it automatically finds and imports the correct album art.


It's that easy. Snag it here fer free-ninety-nine.

If you can...picture this....

I've been listening to this record for 6 months straight. Shmeariously.

Just might be in the Top 5 greatest hits albums of all time. Possible others: Tom Petty, Elvis Costello & the Attractions (on Rykodisc), Al Green, Death To The Pixies.

Let the Eagles Soar (or not)

Super Bowl weekend: traditionally a barren tundra of frigid temperatures, frigid beer, and hot barbeque flavored chips. Except this year, it was 60 degrees. February in North Carolina is like May in Wisconsin. Ferreals. The game, as expected, was competitive. The commericals, as expected, sucked. (Particularly all the Bud-related ads. Lame, lame, lame. I'll have to agree with my confrere, JB, that guys should have nothing to do with Bud Light. It is a beer only for girls.) A few exceptions: The booby commericials, obvs. Howevs, I will take a bold, contrarian stand and say that I, alone amongst the gathered crowd, thoroughly enjoyed the spots with the chimps in the office. In advertising alchemy, anything + monkeys, pretty much=gold. So suck it, Sir Isaac, you hack. Another spot pumped Journey for about 5 funderful, fleeting seconds. And we all know I love Journey. Other, lamer channels pitched in for SB related fun. Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl was a mesmerizing, unexpected success. I think Golden Retrievers were overrepresented among the players, though. You just know that shit is racial.

The other bright spot to the weekend was my pro-bowl caliber, 4 touchdown performance in the Super Bowl of flag football (ok, not really, but we're just as drunk). While the opposing defense was flummoxed by our 11 year old secret weapon (frequent 'Pod commenter Rochester, in particular, although his difficulties may have stemmed in whole or in part from either his fire engine red gardening gloves or his San Francisco 'stache), yours effing truly was killing mofos with the hottt slant route, and picking off passes on D. Doing it both ways, Troy Brown stizz.

HP update

First, go read this post about my less-than-awesome experience with HP customer service.

I submitted a complaint on their website after placing my order, basically telling them how weak it is that the software I need isn't online, and that I had to pay to get it. "My blog readers will hear about this," I said, partially as a joke, and partially out of the hope that my influence among my many thousands of readers would be felt in HP's quarterly earnings. Little do they know...

Anyway, I just got off the phone with a customer service rep. from HP. After some initial confusion surrounding my email complaint, he refunded the $10.65 they charged me for the cd-rom. He said that while software for many of the newer drives is online, since my drive is older, they "would definitely consider my suggestion" to place installation software online. Good enough, I say.

HP made a good faith effort to appease me as a customer, and for that, they should be applauded. I still maintain that the software should be available online, but getting it free by mail is, I suppose, the next best thing.

Tribulations: On the Difficulty of Assessing the Artistic Merit of LCD Soundsystem, and, More Broadly, Indie-Dance [or Dance-Punk]

Ok, so, I don't really see what the big deal is about LCD Soundsystem/DFA production.
I downloaded the LCD Soundsystem album, and it's pretty much what I expected: dance-y sort of indie rock with synths and a drum machine. And a cowbell. The songs are ok, I suppose, but not great.

Admittedly, this is based on a pretty preliminary listen to the album, and my opinions are not yet fully formed. But it just seems that for all the dap that Murphy (and Goldsworthy) get(s) for their production skillz, everything I've heard by or produced by them sounds pretty pedestrian. Which is not to say bad, just unremarkable. Part of the difficulty in assessing the hype, I suppose, is that given their genre-straddling ambitions, and the fact that they've (the DFA) turned down production offers from the likes of Britney and Janet, it's unclear on what standard their productions are judged. Are they judged on the standards of rock-based production, where the job of the producer is to contribute to the overall "sound" of the record, only occasionally, and based largely, I would say, on the prestige of the producer, chiming in with suggestions on strong structure, musicianship, or songwriting? Or are they judged on the standards of hip-hop/electronica, which is to say on the strength of their beatmaking, where the producer is responsible, more or less, for the entire non-lyrical element of the song or track?

If it's the former, I would say that their production is criminally sub-par, at least in proportion to the hype. One can find more interesting or innovative production on most indie-pop releases, with a strong showing, I would argue, from alt-country producers. Dave Fridmann, Ethan Johns, and Jon Brion spring to mind most immediately, although there are certainly tons of others. If it's the latter, however, I would tend to be more forgiving. The beats retain all the best elements of disco AND rock, shedding the self-indulgence and sickly sheen of the former while retaining the energy and raw feel of the latter. And it still makes you wanna dance. Of course, the most notable producers today are in rap and/or electronica, and their names hardly bear mentioning here. But I would love to hear Jay-Z or even some group like De La rapping over some of these beats. However, one typically expects a much "tighter" feel to rap or electronica tracks, whereas a not-insignificant bunch of the tracks on "LCD Soundsystem" span upwards of 6 minutes, with some popping out to 8, 9, or even 11 or more minutes. Combine this fact with the somewhat sloppy, indie-ish feel, and it becomes more and more difficult to think of these tracks as in the hip-hop or electronica vein (house music excepted, of course).

Of course they could very well be shooting for a fusion of the two worlds. In which case, it's tough to judge it's overall goodness based in no small part in that there's very little else I know of in the same "indie-electronica" or "indie-dance" genres (I’m just making up genres now, not referring to any potentially existing genres or sub-genres) against which to compare it. Dance-punk would be the easiest, I suppose, but the band with which I am most immediately familiar in that genre, The Rapture, are mostly produced by the DFA, and thus not useful as a point of comparison.

More, I am not so stubborn as to require music to be shoved into any genre before I assess its perceived artistic merit. I'm just sayin. The fuck is this stuff???

Worst. Speech. Ever.

Social security...blah blah blah....freedom...yeah yeah....emotional Iraqi acknowledgement of debt to America symbolized by Iraqi woman voter hugging the mother of an American soldier who died in Iraq....whatevs....where the eff is Jenna?
It's hard to know whether to chalk this up as a failure of the Bush administration to invite the comely young lass, or as a failure of the LIBERAL MEDIA to not show her on tv. I'm going with the latter. And here's why:

Though shy of making The Lycos 50, first daughter Jenna Bush continues to generate far more search activity than her twin sister, Barbara, and nearly as much interest as her father the president. Searches for Jenna Bush are up nearly 360 percent following her father's inauguration last week. President Bush, also shy of this week's list, only saw an increase of 165 percent following his recent inauguration. And young Jenna is also 21 times more popular with Web users than her mother, first lady Laura Bush.

OH YES.
Karl Rove knows this shit, and wants her face on tv, FERREALS. Face time for Jenna equals god press for G-Dubs. So, we can surmise that she was there. But the MEDIA, who HATES George W. Bush, will do whatever it can to keep him DOWN. Even Fox never showed her face!


UPDATE: Joe Biden is the biggest phony in the US Congress. Which puts him high in the running for biggest phony worldwide. And I know, because I almost smacked into him once in the bowels of the Louisiana Superdome. WOOT!

Heh

As voting ended, turnout was estimated at 72%. ... [I]t reflects a 28% decline from voting in Iraq'a last election. Furthermore, the unity that marked Iraq's 2002 election has been dissolved by the Bush Administration's divisive policies. The consensus which marked the last election has fallen apart to the point that one party may not even gain a majority.

(Via kausfiles)

For the new kid at BS (you know who you are). Welcome back to the 'sphere.

HP is effing weak

For some reason the other day, my cd-burner goes on strike; the computer doesn't even see that it's hooked up. Whatevs. Un-install, re-inst---oh...wait, where's that cd? Ok, so I've lost the installation software for my cd burner. No probs. This being the future, I figure I'll just go online and download the shnizz from HP's big fancy website.
Except....not so much. Drivers? Not even any drivers! What a weak-ass website! Short story long, I end up having to pay $10 to order a cd-effing-rom. And I gotta wait 5-7 biznass days for it to get here? In the effing mail?!??! WEAK.

Dear Carly Fiorina,


Your website effing sucks.


Love,

Matt

Duhvs.


Thanks, kit.