The Americans are fools. I offered my services, they refused.

The casting battle for the next James Bond is heating up. Since I pretty much define the target audience for this franchise, I've got a few thoughts. First and foremost, there's no way in heck I will accept a Croatian James Bond. That's just retarded. I really liked Pierce Brosnan as Bond, although the quality of the films has dropped precipitously since the underrated "Golden Eye." In a better world, the Bond movies would get a decent script and a decent director instead of new Bond. Would it be too much to ask for Chris McQuarrie to write a script? Or David Fincher to direct?

Since I'm a white male between the ages of 18-49, people should listen to me when I say the follwing two things: One, cast Daniel Craig as the new James Bond. Should he become unavailable for some reason, such as a horrific auto accident, or the End of Days, please cast Julian McMahon. Or the Transporter. Two: I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HARRY POTTER. Please cease any and all activities in this regard. Thank you.


Also, and only related because it has to do with TV: Can Derek Jeter please close his fucking mouth? When he's in the batter's box, smacking away on his gum, he looks like a baby bird waiting to accept his mother's pre-digested worm-meal. It's digusting. It doesn't make him look confident or cool. It makes him look like a Matt LeBlanc-esque mouth-breather. So, shut your gumhole, Derek Jeter.


UPDATE: Brilliant!