First dance is yours, AFI

This list is bullshit.

Another exercise in boomer-centric nostalgia, nothing more. I mean, any list of things that are supposedly great that contains "Shane" is stupid, and hardly worth bothering with. "Shane" sucks, "The Graduate" sucks, "Dirty Dancing" sucks, I've never even heard of fucking "Aunt Mamie" or "Beyond the Forest." I mean, this is a bunch of old, self-styled critics sitting around in suits, drinking sherry and going, "Why, yes, I do recall how affected I was in my younger days by the sight of that paragon of manhood, Shane, and his powerful buttocks, riding off into the technicolor sunset. That young boy represents America's lost innocence, and when Shane rode off for parts unknown, a little part of me died." Fuck that. And "Plastics"? The fuck? That line isn't even funny. I mean shit, if that kid had gone into plastics, he'd be an effing millionaire by now. So many of my relatives said that to me when I graduated high school, completely oblivious to the inherent irony.

Anyay, before I list some quotes they left out, I need to rant a bit about what this list should accomplish, and why it fails on all accounts. A list like this should not only have iconic quotes that have become part of the lexicon, like "May the Force be with you," but also lines that are just plain bad-ass. There's nothing from "The Usual Suspects," for example. What about that line from the beginning of "The Way of the Gun," when Ryan Phillipe goes "Shut that cunts mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head!" Like, if you bust that shit out in pretty much any situation whatsoever, you're gonna get into a fight. Now that's a powerful quote. Or how about "You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed." Isn't that just slightly more memorable than "I want to be alone."?

The list should have funny lines, and it has a few. "Airplane." "Caddyshack" (though none of the good ones). But where is like anything from Mel Brooks? The one Woody Allen line they choose is "La-dee-da?" Is this a joke?!?! What about "The Big Lebowski?" What about "Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman." What about "Fucking Germans. Nothing changes."

This list is just yuppie elitism. Congratulations, AFI, for your continued descent into cliched irrelevance.