weed

If you're at all interested in the medical marijuana case currently being argued before the U.S. Supreme Court, go check out the Volokh Conspiracy. The lead attorney for the weed folks is part of the group blog over there (all of the contributors are law professors), and there's been some really interesting discussion about the case.

Here, too, in more depth.


P.S. Even if marijuana is legalized for medical or other purposes...The Doors will still suck.

Adventures in OCD

I left for work about 10 later than normal this morning because I had to iron the bit on my shirt that has the buttonholes on it. It had a crease. On the positive side, I've only washed my hands three times this morning.

Note that I didn't say that I was late for work, because time is such an elastic concept when you deal mostly with academic types and government-sponsored work.

Fucking hippies.

Okay, first, I just flat out didn't feel like blogging over the holiday. I hope those of you that visited at least clicked over to one of the blogs on the sidebar in my boozy absence.

Second, and in criticism of Rolling Stone's nomination of John Lennon's lame-ass "Imagine" to 3rd greatest rock song ever (from Volokhs):

Even in my George McGovern days, I knew that abolishing "possessions" was a recipe for totalitarianism, tyranny, poverty, and death. Just the collectivization of agriculture alone is modestly estimated to have killed 50 million people in the 20th century. And abolishing countries sounded like a nice idea until you thought about what that one world society was likely to be in practice. Imagine a world with the morals of the United Nations and the economics of Africa and the Middle East, run by the all-powerful Kofi. After all, in the early 1970s a large portion of the world's population already lived in one world/country--China--and they weren't faring too well, despite having taken extreme steps to "Imagine [that there were] no possessions."

Ha.
I haven't given the rest of the list more than a cursory glance (busy morning here at the information factory), but already I see some pretty loose shit.

14 Blowin' in the Wind Bob Dylan 1963

This song sucks.

35 Light My Fire The Doors 1967

36 One U2 1991

The Doors suck. Hard. Admit it. And U2 is just plain old, but "One" is an ok song, as far as U2 songs go. Which is a bit like saying that mononucleosis is ok, as far as communicable diseases go in that I've had it once, and really don't want anything to do with it anymore.

And Jeebus help us all if fucking "My Girl" is anywhere on this list.


UPDATE: Annie, in the comments, rightly points out that Rolling Stone's inclusion of "Imagine" on their list is bullshit boomer nostalgia. That reminded me that I should own up that the criticism linked to above is not, as noted, of the inclusion of the song, but rather of its lyrics. I suppose that criticism of a song's lyrics could be so devastating (or the lyrics themselves so terrible) as to render it unfit for inclusion on the list, but I'll be honest and say that that's not what I meant when I posted; and in any case, Rolling Stone obviously thought the lyrics of sufficient quality to rate the song #3 of all time. Which is obviously bullshit.

not particularly republican

This is pretty interesting. Sometimes hippies know their shit when it comes to choonz.
I would put "The Boy With the Arab Strap" by Belle & Sebastian up on that shit. Oh, and "Ain't Nuthin' But A G Thang."

Mad ups to Angry Hippie for the link.

Fracas update

Go and read Beer and Rap's post about the whole fracas in Detroit. A fun-size Snickers:

So by now most of you have probably heard of Ron Artest's little scuffle in Detroit. I think its fucking great that those fans caught a bad one. In fact I think fans getting their ass kicked at sporting events should be a regular event. ...
Fuck doing that stupid half court shot shit at halftime. Replace that shit with "bitchmade Fan Ass Kicking fun time." Every game they'll bring out some player and just let him beat the fuck out of some fan who thinks they are brave. It ends when someone stops moving or cries. ...
But yeah fuck sportsmanship I want to see bitches get turned the fuck out. Fuck letting those pussies standing up there think they are safe. The NBA should actually stop the game and allow fights to happen during the game. Like they would ring a bell and confetti would fall from the rafters then a spotlight would show on the lucky fan who is about to get beat the fuck down. It would be like winning a gameshow except the prize is a black eye.

There's more. Read the whole thing. It's got some rad videos, too.

Scenes from the Modern Office

Ok, this never would've happened when my grandpa worked in an office, but this is just so special I had to share it with all my hippie friends.

I showed up about 10 minutes early for a 3pm meeting yesterday. Now, this lady (who we'll call "Christine," cos that's her name) is sufficiently powerful at my company as to have her own office. Mind you, this office has a huge picture window, probably at least 8ft wide and 6 ft high, that faces one of the busiest thoroughfares in Research Triangle Park, North Carolina.

Her door is closed when I show up. This is not unusal for certain <insert company name> folk, and since I've never met this lady, she may very well be one of them. Being the polite gentleman I was raised to be, I knock. But only after I've noticed a small sign featuring two Holstein cows and reading, "Pumping In Progress."

It is at this point that I would like to pause, and to remark upon how inscrutable this sign seemed to me at the time. Pumping? I thought. Pumping what? My mind raced even faster as soon as I heard an immediate and excited "Just a second!" from behind the door. Ooookaaayyy...

So I wait, probably for at least a minute, in this dark hallway, after having obviously interrupted something I had no business interrupting. And then the door opens, and a very composed and young-ish woman opens the door, sticks out her hand, and says, "Hi. Are you Matt?"

I suppose I should've checked her hand for....something before I shook it (y'know, because of the pumping), but I discover that I'm not that quick. As I step past her into the office and take a quick look around (noticing the dominating picture window directly across from me), she makes an awkward step toward the general direction of ice-breaking, "So, I'll bet you had no idea what the "pumping" sign meant?" She says this real friendly-like, not like, "Why are you interrupting my pumping, peon?"

Really too petrified to answer coherently at this point, I mumble, "Pumping..." Which is both stupid and hilarious, because the first word I ever say to this woman happens to be "pumping."

And then she spews forth the most horrifying combination of words I could imagine being spewn in this increasingly disastrous sitation...."Breast pump."

I was, of course, completely, devastatingly, horrified. I could barely look at this woman for the rest of the two and a half hours I was there, and I almost knocked over my chair when I stood up so fast once the meeting ended.

In retrospect, however, I have a few thoughts:

1. A picture of a cow (not being milked at the time, I should hasten to mention, it was just standing there) is not sufficiently obvious to pierce my obviously increasingly thick skull. Perhaps the fellas out there can opine as to whether this would've tipped them off as to the nature of the goings-on inside.
   
2. Is this an appropriate activity for a professional woman in a modern office? I should think not, but I live in Jesusland, so who am I to pass judgement on delicate socio-professional standards.
3. She said to another meeting participant that prior to our meeting, she had been in another meeting. Which she obviously wasn't, so I don't feel so bad about writing this when I should be working.
4. If that story ain't worth $5 I don't know what is.
   

It's like lighting one cigarette off the other

Ok, seriously? Where else can you see shit like this? CNN.com ain't got nuthin' on me.

New comments...other shit

Allright, hippies. I've installed a new commenting system on the blog, and things are going to look a bit dodgy till I work out some of the loose shit that inevtiably flows, like the morning after a Metamucil, when you fuck with your blog template.

In the meantime, and much to my dismay, old comments have been deleted. They didn't tell me about this before I joined. I apologize to all involved. It seems like it's part of Haloscan's scheme to get you to buy their otherwise free software. Weak shit, I know.

However! It affords me the opportunity to float an idea. In the few months I've been fucking with this blog shit, I've run across a ton of other blogs that are doing some real cool shit. I'm talking streaming audio; video content;, a better look and feel to the blog; and a shorter, easier-to-remember blog address (ending in .com). "Restaurant quality lemonade!" I can hear you saying. Yes, indeed. The downside is that I gotta plop down some dosh to hook it up.

You can see where this is going. I told myself that I'd never be one of those jags who ask for money to run their blog, and to an extent, I still hope not to be. The deal: you give me some money, nothing major, just whatever you planned to donate to the Salvation Army or PBS or some other worthless cause. I will not accept anything over $20, and this is the one time I will not accept payment in beer or liquor. In return, you get to visit a bad-asser blog that promises mo better shit. I'll still be a Republican, but if you hated me so much, you'd've stopped reading by now. And I'll never axe you for scratch again. Word is bond.

Anyway, if you're happy with the way things are, that's cool with me. But if you do want to help out, either e-mail me or catch me on AIM sometime.

Thanks for reading all this. Here's a picture of some butts:

You're welcome.

more testing

Still here, eh?
Well, try "The American Scene," then.

testing

If you encounter this post during the brief period when I'm experimenting with adding a new commenting system, I apologize.
Please re-direct to one of the excellent sites linked to the left. I've been very amused by "Veiled Conceit" lately.

Michael Moore, call your office (or, CLINTON KNEW!!!)

Perhaps those who have actually spent time out of their life watching "Fahrenheit 9/11" can help out this hopelessly ill-informed Jesuslander and tell me if they think Michael Moore would cover this?

LITTLE ROCK, ARK. - President Clinton's new $165 million library here was funded in part by gifts of $1 million or more each from the Saudi royal family and three Saudi businessmen.The governments of Dubai, Kuwait, and Qatar and the deputy prime minister of Lebanon all also appear to have donated $1 million or more for the archive and museum that opened last week.

Maybe he could cram this in on the F9/11 DVD? The director's cut? I mean, he just seems to be so concerned about improper relationships between American presidents and Saudi families that this would be something he'd be interested in. I don't know; I didn't see the movie, so I don't even think I'm allowed to have an opinion on this.

The Saudi royal family and the governments of Dubai, Kuwait, and Qatar donated at this "Trustee" level, as did the governments of Brunei and Taiwan. Also listed as trustees are three Saudi businessmen - Abdullah Al-Dabbagh, Nasser Al-Rashid, and Walid Juffali.

Other notables at the "Trustee" level include the deputy prime minister of Lebanon, Issam Fares; Hollywood director Steven Spielberg and his wife, actress KateCapshaw, and an heir to the Wal-Mart fortune, Alice Walton. ...

Mr. Unger, who wrote "House of Bush, House of Saud," said he thinks the gifts to Mr. Clinton's library pale in comparison to business deals that Mr. Bush's family has done with the Saudis. The author said the gifts to ex-presidents are designed to encourage a pro-Saudi attitude on the part of present or future occupants of the White House.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Anyway, has anyone else noticed that the library really does look like a huge double-wide?

Read the fucking leaves

Is it just me, or would you expect a tea called Tangerine Orange Zinger actually to be orange? I mean, am I going crazy, or am I so sane that I just blew my own mind?
Instead, I'm greeted by this reddish muck that mocks my assumed sanity, even while I enjoy its tarty flavor and relax as its selfless warmth overwhelms my spirit (and my guts).

Tea: It's not just for hippies anymore!

Pancho and...Bucky?

This is almost too weird to make fun of.
Almost.

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - Bucky Buckaroo the wallaroo and Pancho the goat may soon be back in the custody of their rapper owner Vanilla Ice.

Ok, what? Wallaroo? A goat? Vanilla Ice? "Rapper?!?!?"

Bucky and Pancho escaped more than a week ago and spent several days frolicking in the streets and wooded areas of St. Lucie County in southeast Florida. They made a run for it after Pancho nudged open an unlocked door with his head and the two broke out of a relative's backyard.

And all the federales say they coulda had them any day. They only let them slip away out of kindness, I suppose.

Panic on the streets of Detroit

Believe it or not, there was a fight in Detroit last night. The shocker is that it was at the Pistons/Pacers game. The footage is shocking (here, but it's a big 'un, so let 'er load for a while before playing), and it's tough to discern who is at fault. Food, punches, and chairs were thrown.
Another shocker: Rasheed Wallace was not involved.
Another shocker: Ron Artest was. (Ok, maybe not so shocking.)
In this crazy, topsy-turvy world, the only constant is that Reggie Miller is a mark-ass bitch.
In truth, the fans seemed to be if not the instigators, than definitely the elevators of the situation.

Bset Movie Line(s) Ever!

AFI and Galley Slaves are both running their own "Best Movie Lines Ever" contests. Never ashamed to rip off a good idea (viz. er, this blog?), I too am announcing a Best Movie Lines Ever contest. No restrictions here, just yer favorite lines ever.
I'll start:

From "The Usual Suspects": Dean Keaton: "I'm a businessman now." Cop: "Oh yeah? What's that, the restaurant business? No. From now on, you're in the gettin-fucked-by-us business."

From "The Way Of the Gun": "You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed. "

From "The Return of the Jedi": "So be it... Jedi."

Comment away.

Autorantic Virtual Moonbat!

Now I can have a TJ-esque comment whenever I want! Take the day off, hippie!



Mad ups to this guy.

If you haven't guessed already, you're going to be seeing a lot more of this thing.

Oil-for-Food update

A creepy undercurrent to the torrent of oil money the UN has been accused of, essentially, laundering has been the steadfast denial of Secretary General Kofi Annan to make transparent the records of the program. Some see this as tantamount to obstruction of justice:

In the spirit of shooting the messenger, Mr. Annan has complained often in recent months about criticism of Oil for Food, denouncing it as a "campaign" that has "hurt the U.N." Monday's Oil for Food hearing evoked from Mr. Annan's spokesman, Fred Eckhard, the comment that Mr. Annan feels he has been "misjudged by certain media" and that Mr. Annan is "not being obstructionist" in his refusal to cooperate with congressional investigators.

Now, I'm no international lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there's no binding statute of international law forcing Mr. Annan to comply with U.S. law. However, as the primary benefactor to the UN, the US might expect Mr. Annan to be a bit more forthcoming. Unless...

Once Mr. Annan became secretary-general, he lost little time in getting deeply involved with Oil for Food. In October 1997, just 10 months into the job, he transformed what had begun as an ad hoc, temporary relief measure into the Office of the Iraq Program, an entrenched U.N. department, which reported to him directly--and was eliminated only after the U.S.-led coalition, against Mr. Annan's wishes, deposed Saddam. ...
Under the Oil for Food deal, Mr. Annan's Secretariat pulled in a 2.2% commission on Saddam's oil sales, totaling a whopping $1.4 billion over the life of the program, to cover the costs of supervising Saddam. Yet somehow the Secretariat never found the funding to fully meter oil shipments, ensure full inspections of all goods entering Iraq, or catch the pricing scams that by the new estimates of Senate investigators let Saddam rake in $4.4 billion in kickbacks on relief contracts.

Now, it's important to note that nobody is accusing Mr. Annan of personally benefitting from the commission. Again, though, if he has nothing to hide, why is he being so difficult? He did, of course, ultimately allow the investigation to go forward. However...

In Annan Land, there was earlier this year no need for any probe into Oil for Food; and even now there is no need for any investigating beyond the U.N.'s own "independent inquiry" into itself, led by former Fed chairman Paul Volcker, required to funnel its findings first through Mr. Annan, funded to the tune of $30 million out of one of the old Oil for Food accounts it is supposed to be investigating, and not planning to clock in with any specific results until sometime next summer.

The scandal is now twice as alrge, monetarily, than originally thought, and there's still at least a year left in the investigation. It's time the U.S. either got it's money's worth from the UN and demanded at least some measure of transparency in the investigation, or took our money elsewhere.

stupid Bush voters

From "Debunking Political Stereotypes:"

The idea that Bush voters are reality-challenged is based partly on surveys showing that a large percentage of Bush supporters believe, despite evidence to the contrary, that Iraq under Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction or a program to develop them. Many also persist in the belief that Iraq had substantial ties to the Al Qaeda. Other Republicans who support tougher environmental and labor standards incorrectly assume that Bush favors these positions as well.

Is this a damning indictment of Bush voters and conservatives? George Mason University law professor David Bernstein, a libertarian who was highly critical of both candidates in the past election, points out on the Volokh Conspiracy blog that in other surveys, Republicans have on average scored higher than Democrats on knowledge of political issues than Democrats -- though voters across the board tend to be woefully ill-informed. Bernstein speculates that in the more recent polls, ignorant Bush supporters were likely to pick answers flattering to Bush, while ignorant Kerry voters did the opposite.

Furthermore, on weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and Iraqi ties to Al Qaeda, the evidence leaves room for some ambiguity. I know intelligent and well-informed people who believe it is quite likely that Hussein managed to get his stockpiles out of the country before the invasion. As for collaboration between Hussein's regime and terrorist groups, it clearly did exist; the only question is how substantial it was.

Is it possible that Republican voters are likely to fall for the administration's spin on these issues? Of course. But is there any evidence that Democratic voters are less likely to fall for their own side's spin or to buy into their own side's myths? Not really. I'm willing to bet that if you asked people whether it's true or false that President Bush wanted to allow higher levels of arsenic in drinking water after he took office (a charge made in a MoveOn.org ad), a lot more Kerry supporters than Bush supporters would have said it was true. Yet this claim has been conclusively debunked as a lie by New Republic writer Greg Easterbrook, who is no conservative and no Bush supporter.

Democrats, I suspect, would also be much more likely to believe that if the Florida recount in 2000 had not been halted by the Supreme Court, Al Gore would have won the state and the election. In fact, a 2001 review of the Florida ballots by a media consortium concluded that both the recount in several Democratic counties that Gore had requested and the statewide recount of undervotes that was actually underway would have given a victory to Bush (though Gore could have won under some other recount scenarios). And, no doubt, far more Kerry supporters than Bush supporters believed Kerry's groundless claim in a campaign stump speech that one million African-American votes weren't counted in Florida.

(Read the whole thing, then...) Let the enlightened among us comment away!

Mr. Marbles

The perfect gift for the animal lover on your Christmas list!

Oil-for-Food: Super-Size Me!

The biggest scam in history gets suddenly bigger:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Saddam Hussein's regime reaped over $21 billion from kickbacks and smuggling before and during the now-defunct U.N. oil-for-food program, twice as much as previous estimates, according to a U.S. Senate probe on Monday.

The monies flowed between 1991 and 2003 through oil surcharges, kickbacks on civilian goods and smuggling directly to willing governments, Senate investigators said at a hearing.

Why can't some enterprising, young, fat filmmaker point his camera toward some real corruption?

Don't dream it's over

I've long thought that Colin Powell's performance as Secretary of State left something to be desired. Although the U.S. did build a real and substantive coalition before going into Iraq, the failure to anticipate the political situation in Turkey and get their government on board was a big blow to our military and diplomatic efforts.
I don't think it's fair to fault him for failing to make progress with the Israel-Arab issue, and if he had a hand in India-Pakistan-Kasmir, it was too subtle to show. Meanwhile, North Korea, Iran, Syria....all fucked. I'm sure there's some stuff having to do with trade deals or the IMF or whatever, but who cares.
I just hope Karl Rove doesn't quit. How will I know what to blog about?


UPDATE: As seen here, there hasn't been a two-term Secretary of State since the 60s (Dean Rusk). I don't think it's helpful to ascribe a motivation to Powell's leaving without at least hearing from him first. Especially when the record proves that what he's done is completely normal.

R.I.P. O.D.B.

Ol' Dirty Bastard is dead.

NEW YORK - The rap artist O.D.B., whose utterly unique rhymes, wild lifestyle and incessant legal troubles made him one of the most vivid characters in hip-hop, collapsed and died inside a recording studio Saturday. He was 35.

O.D.B. had complained of chest pains before collapsing at the Manhattan studio, and was dead by the time paramedics arrived, said Gabe Tesoriero, a spokesman for O.D.B.'s record label, Roc-a-Fella.

The cause of death was not immediately clear, but O.D.B. had recently finished a prison sentence for drug possession and escaping a rehab clinic. He would have turned 36 on Monday.

A damned shame.

UPDATE: Rappers Osirus, Joe Bannanas, Dirt Dog, Dirt McGirt, and Big Baby Jesus also died around the same time as Mr. Bastard.

A list of 3

Three things to be thankful for, in advance of Thanksgiving:


1. Thumbs. If mankind (or mynkind, for all you feminists) didn't have opposable thumbs, how would we hang out shower curtains? Think about it.

2. Mr. T. Who wants you to treat your mother right.

3.

Ohio!

Addendum: What's with McCain getting all up in their business? Get your hands off of my woman, motherfucker.

Fucking hell

Give it up you fat fuck. You lost. Sheesh.

Meanwhile...

...in awesomest fucking news ever news, there's finally a musical I'm interested in seeing.
SILENCE!: Silence Of the Lambs: The Musical!
No shit! The CD is already out, and features all your favourite tracks, like:
"It's Me!" by Dr. Lecter and the Police
"Put the Fucking Lotion In the Basket" by Buffalo Bill and Catherine
and who could forget
"If I Could Smell Her Cunt" by Dr. Lecter. (hilarious lyrics here)

Buy it now!
It does this when it's told...

Home field advantage

Via Galley Slaves:

Edwards's home precinct, Precinct 111, Raleigh:
Kerry-Edwards 362 - Bush-Cheney 847

Edwards's home county, Wake County:
Kerry-Edwards 162,750 - Bush-Cheney 172,563

Edwards's home state, North Carolina:
Kerry-Edwards 1,488,278 - Bush-Cheney 1,919,903

Edwards's boyhood home, Robbins, N.C.:
Kerry-Edwards 13,360 - Bush-Cheney 24,420

Edwards's birthplace, Oconee Cty, S.C.:
Kerry-Edwards 8,326 - Bush-Cheney 18,715

Edwards's state of birth, South Carolina:
Kerry-Edwards 648,443 - Bush-Cheney 920,072

This excludes the pending provisional votes, but, still...

The banana guard

Ok, I admit: It's not really what I thought it would be. I mean, it actually is for bananas.

A force for secularism

Another must-read from Christopher Hitchens.
I don't often give reading assignments, people. This is one of them.

Please don't suck

Yes, I agree that it will most likely be god-awful. But the trailer looks cool, at least.
As regards the suckitude of the heretofore released prequels: I had a brief conversation with a movie-buff acquaintance of mine at my other job (the movie theatre [ok, former other job, but that's another post]), and he fumed that they "were made for little kids!" That got me a-thinkin. "Well, yeah," I thought. "That's kind of what Lucas was going for. The original movies were for little kids. Remember how much you loved ewoks?"
Of course, I'm older now (not to say wiser, although I now realize the error of my ewok-lovin ways), and I'm thinking that my generation's worship of the orignal films may be just as much a symptom of our nostalgia (yes, it's a disease) as it is due to any actual artistic validity the films may possess. As compared to real movies, their greatness can certainly be contested, and reasonable people can disagree as to their worth, but we love them because we remember loving them as kids. Kinda like why we all seem to like He-Man. Or Jello.
If today's little kids love Jar-Jar, great. They'll grow out of it. And they'll grow up to love the prequels just as we grew up loving the original films, flawed as they most certainly are. The movies, I mean. Not the kids.

Funkin' after hours

Curfew ain't gonna get it.

Like an exploding butterfly

An electoral map where area is proportional to population. Analysis here.

iPod in IC, recovering

iPod surgery was successful. Given that there was a snafu with my Visa card (my fault), and that UPS delivered it to the wrong house (their fault), installing the thing was actually the easiest part. 21 hours of continuous iPod play. OH YES.

Blasted Bush collaborators!

Via Instapundit.
The BBC asked Americans why they voted for President Bush. Some of you commenters may be suprised to read that not all of them mention God! The most prevalent issue seemed to me to be Bush's perceived willingness to stand up to terrorism, and strong leadership qualities. But read them all, and decide for yourself. Here's an interesting one:

My vote for Bush was a vote against Kerry. I do not like how Bush allows his religious beliefs to run his domestic policies. I had planned on voting for Ralph Nader instead. About a month ago I read the 8,000 word article in the Sunday New York Times magazine that discussed John Kerry's views on terrorism and how he feels it should be handled. Frankly it scared me. It scared me that he wanted to handle it in the same manner as it has been handled in the 30 years prior to 9/11.

Kerry scared me. I felt that the US and the world would be far less secure with Kerry in office. Sure we may have felt safe, like we had for the past 30 years. After all, those dying would be elsewhere... while terrorist organizations built themselves up for the next big attack as diplomats and attorneys worried about the legal and political ramifications of actually doing something.

Tom, Hudson, USA

CaliforniAAAAAAAAA

What a wonderful night!

Four more years!!!

Thanks, Ohio!

Land reform

Interesting.

Blame Canada

Don't pack yer bags yet, hippies:

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Disgruntled Democrats seeking a safe Canadian haven after President Bush won Tuesday's election should not pack their bags just yet. Canadian officials made clear on Wednesday that any U.S. citizens so fed up with Bush that they want to make a fresh start up north would have to stand in line like any other would-be immigrants -- a wait that can take up to a year. ...
There are anywhere from 600,000 to a million Americans living in Canada, a country that leans more to the left than the United States and has traditionally favored the Democrats over the Republicans.
But recent statistics show a gradual decline in U.S. citizens coming to work in Canada, which has a creaking publicly funded healthcare system and relatively high levels of personal taxation.

I think Alec Baldwin is already there.

Fight

A reader emails:

I don't care if racist, sexist, bible beaters don't like my party. And as long as they are still racist and sexist and bible beaters, I will continue to make fun of them and be condescending towards them because it's fun, and they're wrong. And you are condescending towards everyone so bite me.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Of course, one should still make fun of and condescend to racists and sexists, but to lump religious people in there is wrong. I'm sick of religious people getting trashed simply because you don't agree with them. That's prejudicial. There is nothing inherent in religion that condones or preaches racism or sexism (well, except maybe fundamental Islam), so I hope that is not what the reader is implying. Believing in God doesn't make you a bad person.

UPDATE: A little tense in the comments here. First of all, dear sister, let's agree that I did not misquote you. I copied and pasted directly from yer email. So, who, exactly, are the bible beaters? Christians, largely defined? Catholics? Protestants? Jews? Aglicans? Lutherans? Mormons? Again, I don't think there's anything inherent in religion that is racist or sexist, so claiming that people "use religion as a defense" seems pretty weak. I mean, is it possible that someone's racism or sexism has nothing to do with their religion? Are there no religious black people? Does religion cause racism and sexism, or are they merely correlated? Maybe they have nothing to do with each other, and there's plenty of racist atheists out there too. But my original point was that I think that the Democratic party this year was captured by militant atheists, people who think that religion is bad and stupid and only causes problems. People that think that "under God" should be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance. There's a lot of religious people in this country, and they don't like being made fun of by a national party they want to support.

Second, I disagree with TJ's premise that people vote exclusively based on religion. There also seems to be an implicit sense that religious people only vote Republican. I would dispute that, since Catholics and Jews tend to vote Democratic. But I don't know. Maybe I didn't read between the lines enough. I also dispute the assertion that voting based on one's religion makes one an idiot. I think religion is just as valid a voting issue as anything else. Since the president, constitutionally, doesn't have the ability to make domestic policy (that's Congress' job), people vote for a president based in part on trust and a sense of shared values.

The Hangover

Well, it looks like things are gonna shake out for President Bush.
A few observations:

• It's been noted that Bush has broken the all-time record for popular vote, surpassing even Ronald Reagan. This seems to me to be a bit disingenuous, in that population totals have almost certainly increased over the last few years, and turnout was higher in this election than in 2000. However, Bush did win the popular vote by over 3 million votes, and it seems to me that it would be very difficult for Kerry to challenge the results because of this. The margin in 2000 was so much slimmer that there was a plausible case; not so much this time.
• Drudge is reporting that: "Wed Nov 03 09:54:42 ET /// Kerry spokesperson David Wade tells reporters: The Kerry campaign is 'still examining'... " Although I've heard that Kerry will make a speech around 1pm EST today. Bush is also expected to make a statement later this afternoon. It seems to me that Kerry, who has every right to wait for final returns, is on pretty shaky ground given the figure coming out of Ohio. I think the sooner this is resolved, the better.
• What does a Bush victory mean? What message does it send to the country and to the world? I think it means that people recognize that terrorism is still a major threat, and that Kerry, fairly or not, was not seen as someone who would effectively prosecute the war on terror. The Europeans, of course, will be outraged, but I hope that the margin of victory will force them to realize that Bush is a legitimate leader, who has the support of the most powerful nation on earth behind him. Our relations with our erstwhile allies will improve.
• I think if Iraq was not an issue in this election, it would've been a Bush landslide.
• Kerry's failure to capture a single southern state is also significant. Kerry does not understand, and cannot connect with people in the Red States. I think people are sick of being condescended to or made fun of for believing in God, or for not supporting gay marriage or for whatever. His party no longer is the party of the middle class, of the poor, or of the underprivledged in society. The Democratic party, I think, is in deep, deep trouble.

More later.

bored...

Nearly 11:30p here in NC...all but one of the stations has broken away from national coverage in favor of stupid fucking local news, which means acceptance and concession speeches. The one station, Fox 50 that is still carrying national coverage, has just cut to Heather Nauert (whose father I know, and don't particularly care for) in....Raleigh. Cripes. WTF, OHIO?!!??! MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DIPSHITS.

Hey? Peter Jennings?

Do you think that you could be just a little bit less of a Canadian asspatter and address Bush as President Bush instead of Mr. Bush? Butthole.

Election night

If anyone's checking in here during the returns tonight, I'll be reading The Command Post's page. They've got at least one blogger from every state posting things about the race in their state. Updated very often, and about as non-partisan as blogs get. Recommended.

Let this not be a sign

In making my meal of Sloppy Joes just now, I pulled out a bottle of Heinz ketchup. Why did I pick tonight to make Sloppy Joes, for which I knew I'd need ketchup? I mean, I'm pretty sure I voted for Bush this morning...

Voting hijinx in Wisconsin

Those kooky democrats!

Who said it?

John Kerry, Michael Moore, or Osama bin Laden?
Take this quiz to see how well you can tease out the differences in their positions, if any.

FYI: I scored only 45%, and I like to think I pay attention.

Election Day

Don Imus has been calling it "erection day" all week. Unassailably juvenile, therefore unquestionably appealing to me.
Anyway. 10:00a. 67 degrees. Time to vote:

Proof of existence: photo ID (state of WI), two (2) pieces of printed mail, checkbook (not sure why)
Gear: Converse All-Stars, low-top, black; awesome t-shirt to provoke prevailing community ideology (no, this one); iPod (playing this...haHA! Suck it, commie!)
Destination: Carrboro Town Hall

• Didn't even make it through "Walt Whitman's Niece" before I arrived and was greeted by several earnest looking folks, one of whom offered to show me a sample ballot. Sure. "Now, the important thing to remember," says Earnest, "is that if you want to vote a straight party ticket, it doesn't include a vote for the presidency, and you still have to--"

Me (interrupting): "Vote for the judges."
Earnest: "Right, for the judges."
Me: "Cos they're non-partisan."
Earnest: "Because they're nonpartisan."
Me: "Right."
Earnest: "Now, this happens to be a Democratic ballot..."
Me (now noticing his two Kerry/Edwards buttons, barely covered by his cardigan vest): "Yeeeeah...I think I'm actually going to go the other way, but thanks."
A little too Earnest (calling after me now): "Oh! That's ok, too!"

• Surprisingly, there is absolutely no line. I walked right in and got my fuckin vote on. Only a slightly wary sidelong glare from one of the poll workers at my blazingly cool t-shirt. She's a librarian type, and most definitely not a fan of Ronnie. I actually didn't vote straight party Republican, so save your smarmy comments, hippies. I went to all this trouble because I wanted to vote to re-elect Governor Easley, a democrat. I got no qualms with the man. He's done all he can to bring new business to the state, and I saw a commercial the other night where he was endorsed by Andy Griffith, a famous NC resident. But Attorney General Roy Cooper? YOU'RE OUT, BITCH.
• I did, however, vote out several local candidates for town council, school boards and whatnot, because they're mostly communists. No, seriously, I voted against them because they're all from Chapel Hill or Carrboro, and I think that Orange County (aka the OC) politics shouldn't be dominated by "city folk."
• It was also my distinct pleasure to be able to vote to re-elect incumbent Commissioner of Labor Cherie Berry. I see her name everday in the elevator at work (she must approve the maintenance documents therein). Good luck, Ms. Berry.
• I also voted for the incumbent Insurance Commissioner, mostly because my car insurance has gone down twice (by a grand total of $6/year) since I bought my latest policy a year ago. And if you figure that they same deal applies to dozens or hundreds of thousands of other NC-ians, you gotta admit that the man has skillz. What's his name? I don't remember anymore.
• Judges....hmmm....Who the fuck are these people? Eenie meenie miney this guy. Catch a tiger by his ok you. If he runs unopposed, well, then fuck you, you don't get a vote. Eenie meenie miney fuck this, I'm done.

I make it home for the opening bars of "California Stars," but I turn it off then, cos although it's a decent song, it's always struck me as Wilco-by-numbers.
Jeebus H. Crackers I'm glad that's over with. The campaign, I mean. Let us now watch as the candidates unleash a pack of rabid, feral lawyers. Let the flower of democracy bloom!

A reminder

[W]hoever wins, lets all be civil about it. I've written about civility in politics before, and I continue to believe that it's one of the most important political virtues -- without it, democratic self-government is impossible. No matter how disappointed you may be in the outcome, the winner is not a tyrant or a traitor; he's not evil or an
idiot; and he's not out to destroy our country. What's more, his supporters love their country every bit as much as you do -- they just have different ideas about how to run it. By all means, continue to disagree with them -- but engage them on the level of ideas, not on the level of name-calling or contempt. Don't assume bad faith or idiocy where disagreement suffices to explain your differences. And don't root for the president to fail simply to vindicate your support for the other guy -- remember, it's our country, as much for those who voted for the winner as those who voted for the loser.

Please. This is bigger than you or me.

Redskins rule

If Bush loses the election because of this shit, I will personally go back to Wisconsin and drop a big Cleveland Steamer right in the middle of Lambert Field. FOR REAL.

I'm not a neocon

There's a lot of disparaging talk from the lefternmost side of the debate about the insidious influence the neoconservatives, or "neocons," have on Bush and on his policies. Since they are the main architects (or so it's assumed) of the deeply unpopular intervention in Iraq, it's widely assumed that they are quite evil.
But how many of you can articulate the difference between a neoconservative and a traditional (sometimes called paleo-) conservative? In his 2002 piece "What the heck is a neocon?," Council on Foreign Relations Fellow Max Boot sez:

The original neocons were a band of liberal intellectuals who rebelled against the Democratic Party's leftward drift on defense issues in the 1970s. At first the neocons clustered around Sen. Henry "Scoop" Jackson, a Democrat, but then they aligned themselves with Ronald Reagan and the Republicans, who promised to confront Soviet expansionism. The neocons, in the famous formulation of one of their leaders, Irving Kristol, were "liberals mugged by reality."
...
In social policy, it stands for a broad sympathy with a traditionalist agenda and a rejection of extreme libertarianism. Neocons have led the charge to combat some of the wilder excesses of academia and the arts. But there is hardly an orthodoxy laid down by Neocon Central. I, for one, am not eager to ban either abortion or cloning, two hot-button issues on the religious right. On economic matters, neocons--like pretty much all other Republicans, except for Mr. Buchanan and his five followers--embrace a laissez-faire line, though they are not as troubled by the size of the welfare state as libertarians are.

It's worth noting that neoconservatism, at least in it's foreign policy aspects, has been largely successful in the post 9/11 war of ideas.

[T]he vindication of neoconservatism has already taken place, in that the Democratic candidate in 2004 has found it impossible to run for the Oval Office on a platform of its repudiation, but rather has embraced its central strategic insights.

Remember that Kerry is, as far as anyone can figure, "pro-war." That is to say, he recognized the obligation of the United States to act in Iraq. One could argue that he was a neocon before being a neocon was cool, in that he forcefully agitated for the policy of regime change...when Clinton was president.
Ultimately, of course, what one chooses to label the current incarnation of American policy matters very little. There are those, however, who toss around "neocon" like some sort of slur or epithet, ultimately with very little insight as to it's meaning. This demeans the humane ideals and people behind the term.
While I hope no one would base a vote on something as superficial as an inadequately descriptive term that's meant to encompass a broad variety of ideas, if you think you hate neocons and what they've done (or will do), take a second and the two articles linked above.

Top 5

The fucking TPS reports I've had to deal with this morning are making me crackers. Crackers, I tell you! (Acceptable alternative to express frustration: "cheese-ing my biscuits")

Top 5 Microsoft Word spell-check suggestions for my last name:

1. Leukemia
2. Beckerman
3. Beckman
4. Benkelman
5. Buena

Vaya con dios.
And vote.


Er...tomorrow.


UPDATE: For Bush.